Friday Fives – iPod edition

Ok,

I don’t have any good questions for you, and I want to go to bed.  So, I will riff off the first several songs that come up on my iPod, in full random.  Last time I did this, I talked about Amy Winehouse, and what a fan I was… and what a talent she was.  The next day, she died.  Does that make me a prophet?  yeah, pretty much.  See here.  The video link was also in there before she died.

Anyhow, lets get started, and hope I don’t kill off any more starlets.  Our choice bed is 14403 songs:

A100 - Billy Corgan  – The Future Embrace.  This was Billy’s solo album.  It is terrible.  I haven’t listened to it in years, and odds are I will never listen to it again.  Keep in mine, Billy Corgan is a musical god to me.

**** urgent update.  I was stuck in alphabetical mode.  Need to move to shuffle.  Please disregard that previous song:

Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden  > Yes, like the band Black Sabbath, the amazing British band Iron Maiden has a song, and an album, called Iron Maiden.  I can’t say enough good things about Maiden.  They are amazing, and their music is timeless.  There are basically two bands that I NEVER miss when they tour… and only two.  Iron Maiden, and Pearl Jam.  Yes, Iron Maiden is still around, still touring, and still releasing albums.  They have their classic line up, still, and genuinely sound better than ever.  First time I saw them was almost 25 years ago.  If you don’t get Iron Maiden, you are either super lame, or a chick.  If you are a chick, it can be forgiven.  If you are a dude, and you don’t listen to Maiden, you might as well be a chick.

My Funny Valentine - Sarah Vaughn > this song blew my mind the first time I heard it.  It just rocked me, hard, to my foundation.  I went and bought her Verve compilation, and so should you.  Seriously, do it now.  As much as I insist you NOT buy that Corgan disc above… you must buy this.  See, now you are net even.  As for Maiden, it’s too late.  You suck.

To Study – Per Motivi de studio > this is from my Italian phrases CD I bought for a trip to Italy.  We were supposed to listen to it on the 9 hour flight to Heathrow.  We blew it off, drank, and watched movies instead.  Good choice!  The good thing is we speak Spanish, and that is close enough to understand the menu’s and such.

Help on the Way/ Slipknot/ Franklin’s Tower – Grateful Dead - One from the Vault > this is a classic Dead jam, they have probably played these 3 songs in sequence like this hundreds of times.  This live version, however, is the best.  It is from 1975 in San Francisco.  When I say ‘the best’, it is not hyperbole for your tiny mind.  I think you could poll deadheads and this would win.  And if you do, and it doesn’t… then they weren’t real Deadheads, anyway.  See how I worked my way out of that?

Mama Tried > Grateful Dead 5/8/1977 – This version is pretty good, but the concert as a whole is legendary.  This is Barton Hall, Cornell University.  Also known as the ‘take a step back’ show.  Also known as the greatest Scarlett/Fire EVER.  It is, do it!  This ‘mama tried’ is fine, though, but not why you bought the show.

Your Smiling Face > James Taylor - I love James Taylor.  This live version is ok, but a little over the top.  You need some James Taylor in your life, but this isn’t it.  Just buy ‘sweet baby james’.

Pennyroyal Tea > Nirvana - this is from a bootleg in Germany.  Here is the thing, we all love Nirvana.  I saw them on the Nevermind tour.  They weren’t even headliners back then.  But, that isn’t my point.  My point is, I have heard a lot of live Nirvana, and they were terrible live.  Maybe because it was only 3 folks, but their live bootlegs are just sucky.  If you want to hear really good live grunge, listen to Pearl Jam.  They thrive live.  Nirvana… not so much

Ok, how about that?   maybe, if I get good questions from my editor tonight, i will punch it up with some actual Friday Fives tomorrow.  For now, though, off to bed.  Good work, team!

Friday Fives

1. What is your favorite vegetable?

the pepper.  all kinds, bell, poblano, jalapeno, Serrano… you get the idea

2. What is your favorite salad dressing, sauce, gravy, or condiment?

       ranch with properly prepared, well cooked, french fries.  and it has to be a very specific ranch.  I can tell by looking at the ranch if it is right.  It’s not the stuff out of the salad dressing bottle.  It’s thinner than that.  Most village inn type places have a good ranch.  Also, you can’t get good ranch out of a packet… EVER.  It must be bright white, not yellow.  It needs to be viscous enough to be able to drink through a straw.  Are you with me?  I am extremely specific about how ranch should be.  The reason… when its done correctly, it is the yummiest thing on earth.  Ever since I was a teen, I have called us ‘the ranch generation’.  This was long before we were called ‘Gen X’.  Are you with me?  There is nothing more important that really good ranch.

      see this stuff?  WAY too thick.  If anyone brings this to your house, you punch them in the genitals, hard.  Then, when they leave, you call the police and tell them the person was drinking and brandishing a weapon.  More like this.  I don’t even know how to make this ranch, or where to buy it.  You have to get it from a restaurant.  Wing places usually have a good ranch.  I suspect the ranch is love is super watered down by restaurants.  If you see a packet like this, or this, throw your shoe at the manager.  Then, and only then, take a dump on the counter.   Then… you should probably leave.  Frankly, I think you over reacted back there.  These people are working for minimum wage and you pull this bs.  You know what, this is why no one invites you out after work.  Have you noticed that, yet?

3. What is your favorite culture’s food (American, Chinese, Creole, Indian, Italian, Mexican, Soul Food, Southern U.S., etc.)?

easy, mexican food.

4. What is your favorite beverage?

coffee, and heroin.  No… just coffee.  and smack

5. What is your favorite food?

well, didn’t we just cover that above?  I don’t think you worded the question well.  So… do you mean m favorite thing, in a singular sense.  The Gyro.  It is perfection, and I can’t find it anywhere.  EVERY place that carried it is gone.  It seems that serving gyros is business death.  I can think of 6 businesses in Denver who have gone under in the last five years.  By the way, I know you are thinking ‘what about sahara cafe, Lono’.  Nope, they changed their recipe, and I am pissed.  They had the most sumptuous gyro meat on earth.  There are two places left, up north, but they aren’t all that good.  Not worth a 45 minute drive, anyway.

also, if you ask a middle eastern place how to pronounce it, they will say “any way is ok”.  No it’s not, he is being nice.  Don’t be a douche.  Don’t say ‘Jie-Row’ or ‘guy-row’.   Say ‘year-row’ and they likely won’t spit in your imperial face.

Some time ago, I wrote an entire post just about gyros.  I could link it here, but I don’t think I will bother.  You have google, you lazy fuck.  Maybe if you didn’t spend your time shitting on restaurant counters, you wouldn’t be alone.  Jesus, look at you.  You disgust me.

Friday Fives – cooking and food again, because apparently my editor can’t come up with anything new.

1. Tea or Coffee or juice in the morning, and why?

 coffee.  Tons of it.  I also keep morning thunder at my desk, but 90% of the time it’s coffee.  I love coffee like you love your Xbox

2. What’s your typical breakfast on workdays, and what on weekends?

  eggs and bacon, or oatmeal

3. What do you drink through the day?

            coffee and water, unholy quantities of both

4. Best snack?

heroin skulls of the nonbelievers?  M&Ms!

5. Your favorite dinner when you cook for yourself alone?

a peanut chicken with peppers and scallions over a white rice.  Well, that is assuming I have said peanut sauce on hand from Yume.  If not, I can wing anything.  Just give me meat, onions, and a starch and I can throw down mad eats with my pantry.