Microsoft Spite Block®

I have figured out a product that American businesses need, desperately. I call it ‘Spiteblock’. It is software installed on all e mail and word processing applications. Think of it as a useful form of that little bastard paper clip. When you start firing off a missive, a little homeless crack addict pops up and says “It looks like you are sending a rant. Is this really a good idea? How will calling your boss a pigfucker best solve the situation?”


See, the idea for the icon is inspired as well. It reminds you if you really hit ‘reply to all’ with one more smart ass comment… you too will soon be a homeless crack addict. In fact, Microsoft Spiteblock® would pop up anytime you try to hit ‘reply to all’. That would keep us all from sending thing like this out:

Well, maybe if IT did their job instead of closing tickets and being patronizing to us all the time we could have gotten this project done on time

or

Maybe if we were treated like adults for once there wouldn’t have to be urine in the coffee pot.

or

I just can’t wait until Tom falls flat on his face with this one. I have been carrying his ass in this department for a year now. I don’t even think he has worked an 8 hour day in his life

You get the idea, right? It is a bad enough idea to do anything personal with your company’s resources (like, blogging for example)… but the ‘reply to all’ has ended more bright futures then I care to even think about. Why do you think I am still just a lowly ‘Lawnmower Consultant 1’ when that asshat Meyers is a ‘Lawnmower Consultant 3’? I am the one who trained the jerk!

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4 thoughts on “Microsoft Spite Block®

  1. This would have helped a friend of mine who sent out a company wide email, that included the CEO, about his missing coffee mug which he stated that he urinates nightly in, and to enjoy. When he sent that out I could not believe that he did not get fired

  2. Pingback: Lawrence Taylor wants to kick your ass – another great true story | I am Correct

  3. Pingback: Friday Fives – it starts out about computers and then veers into cars for some reason – edition | I am Correct

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