Hello friends. I figure I need not tell you what the ‘F’ stands for… but the TO stands for Terrel Owens. You may know that Terrel Owens got kicked off his team (the Philadelphia Eagles) yesterday. Why? Well, he is their most talented receiver… and quite possibly the most talented receiver in the NFL. His gift for coming down with football at the other end of the field is remarkable. By firing him, the team is still committed to pay his full salary. So, what happened? Was he injured?

Nope. He is the biggest dick in professional sports right now, and will go down in history with Ty Cobb and Pete Rose and people who sullied the entire sport. After being rather publicly kicked off of another team (the 49’ers fired him after that sharpie incident), perhaps he would learn. Nope, but today his agent certainly understood the very real concern of getting 15% of nothing for the next 10 years. So, his agent apologized for him. Today, Owen’s super-agent Drew Rosenhaus came out and apologized for what happened. TO stood behind him stoically, speaking only briefly. TO did did speak in time, though. Reading from a prepared statement, he said ‘to the people of Philadelphia, I am sorry this happened’.

Note the very careful wording. Dude never admits he did anything remotely wrong. He never apologized for his actions, or his attitude, or bad mouthing his QB in the press, or beating up his own team-mate in the locker room last week. Nope. TO apologized that ‘this happened’. Really, who wrote this thing? Scott McLelland?

So, here is what perhaps TO could have said… er… should have said.

Dear Philadelphia: I was a jerk. I behaved badly. I deserved my suspension and termination. You are right to be angry with me, as I am deeply ashamed of myself. I ask you very seriously and with hat in hand… know that I am sorry. I don’t expect your forgiveness, but hope one day to earn it.

Anyhow, you get the idea. I can’t say there is a more loathsome person inside the United States right now (outside of Robert Novak who deserves death immediately) than Terrel Owens.


2 thoughts on “FTO

  1. I agree with you on all points except one. Pete Rose was never detrimental to a team that he played for. In fact he helped 3 different teams win 4 different world series’ during his playing days. I garauntee that a team TO plays for will never win a championship. Yea, Pete fucked up with the gambling and the other crap, but he never bad mouthed his teammates and he ALWAYS showed up to play. Perhaps you are too young to remember Charlie Hussle so I hope this will help you out; Mike Schmidt, maybe the greatest third baseman of all time and a teammate of Rose, said this about Pete at his hall of fame induction; “Pete was a great teammate and a great friend. I would not be standing here today if not for him.” Name any sane person that would say the same for TO.

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