The yutes of America


last fall this cute little kid came to my door. He said he had a dog business and would pick up our dog poop (we have two large dogs) for $5 a week. I thought it was the greatest thing. Heck, I would have given the kid $5 just for taking the initiative to knock on doors and present himself. See, when I was his age (late single digits) I used to mow lawns and do yard work for cash. Anyhow, it was a deal and he came around every weekend and picked up the dog business. Problem was, he didn’t have a pooper scooper. We have a nice one, so we lent it to him. No big problem.

Over time, he came less often. It came to a boiling point today though. He came by and ‘took care of the business’. I gave him a five spot, and asked if he would be sure to drop the business in the garbage bin on the side of the yard. His reply was ‘I’ll need a bag, then’.

It took me a moment to grasp the insanity of this plea. “I’ll need a bag then”. I then asked him what had he done with the dog doo. He said he put it in a pile in the yard. This means I would have to go out and scoop the crap into a bag myself, and drag it to the garbage myself. So what service is he providing? He comes over, uses MY pooper scooper, uses MY bags, then leaves the shit in the yard. This kid has future union leader written all over him!


6 thoughts on “The yutes of America

  1. Well to be fair he did say pick up the poo, he never said he would then move said poo elsewhere. Sounds like you should have asked for an approved poo disposal plan.

  2. I disagree. I think it is implicit if the child says ‘if you pay me I will take care of your dogshit’ that he will do more than move the dogshit.

    All he was doing was re-allocating the dogshit. I can do that. He was hired to dispose. I gently made that clear today as I paid him… so will have to see next week how this goes.

  3. let me see if I got this right…

    You are too lazy to pick up dogshit…
    You pay an infant to do the job…
    are unhappy with how he does it…
    pay him anyway…
    he keeps his job…
    he gets more money next week…

    and you complain that you are being played by child. We will just call you Forrest Gump from now on…

    after all, life is like a yard full of chocolates.

  4. I see it more like this: if this kid is the future labor leader… I am the future consumer. Plus, this is America! Personal accountability died about 30 years ago, and if you don’t believe me I will sue the shit of you until you do!

    That is what America is about!

  5. i don’t get it?

    he’s been leaving the poop in a pile in the yard since last fall?

    and you just figured it out?

    i’ll grant you, the kid’s got a real future in this country, because there’s plenty of other people dumber than you…

    personal accountability…long gone and hard to find…could not agree more…”george hanson” said it best 37 years ago…

    “ya know, this used to be a hell of a good country”

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