So I was driving to lunch and saw another Jeep Wrangler with that stenciled on the windshield and I got frustrated. It’s a jeep thing, you wouldn’t understand. I wouldn’t understand what: You drive a shitty American car? That you have the most uncomfortable riding vehicle on the market? Gas mileage means nothing to you? That once every five years you go camping? That rolling over in traffic doesn’t really worry you at all? That you are emotionally stunted from the age of 19 up?
Right, I don’t understand… bro. I guess you are trying to show how tough you are with four wheel drive? Guess what, jackass, half the cars on the road here in Colorado have either four wheel drive, front wheel drive, or all wheel drive. So, that doesn’t impress me. How about this gem; the tire cover with the odious slogan in question, but a smiley face with stubble on it. On yeah, that really impresses the babes. “Hey, I got a crappy car with bad mileage that will roll the second I hit black ice… oh, and I don’t care much for grooming either! This is great if you are in high school maybe, but you are not. As for your pretend four wheeling, you are not just lying… but you are a pussy. If you want to do some four wheeling, I’ll take you somewhere that will make you cry. It’s called Red Cone. We did it last summer in my truck, and there wasn’t a jeep to be found.
ok, truth be told… I don’t mind jeeps too much and they are often great off road vehicles. However, anyone who thinks they are ‘manning up’ by declaring their ‘You wouldn’t understand’, try this instead. Put a bumper sticker on your jeep that says ‘I drive a jeep because I am compensating for a small weenie’. People will at least respect your candidness. I have two, one on my F-250 and one on my Corvette. Oh, and the other sticker on my truck says ‘Jeep Rescue Vehicle’.