You may have heard that the vice President ‘accidentally’ shot a hunting partner this weekend. You may have heard that he NEVER reported it, and it only became public when someone at the hospital leaked the story to the media. You may have heard he shot the dude in the face, with a shotgun. You have heard right.
See, here is the thing. How come when one of the President’s posse shoots someone in the woods it is a ‘hunting accident’ and when I do – is ‘attempted manslaughter’, ‘felonious assault with a deadly weapon’, or ‘trespassing’? Do you see the game they are playing? How come nobody thinks the guys I shot are accidents? How come there are now 13 states that I am not allowed to teach in?
Here is the deal. The thing with Rudy is, he was being a tool and still hadn’t returned my sisters car. Does that mean I shot him on purpose? According to the commonwealth of the people of Nebraska it does. Actually, Cheney just moved up two rungs in my estimation: 1) he shot a Republican, and 2) got away with it! Anyhow, this is a Chappaquiddick style cover up for sure. Listen to the official report:
While the state Parks and Wildlife Department issued Cheney a warning for not
possessing a required stamp on his hunting license, the sheriff’s department
said there was “no alcohol or misconduct involved in the incident.
What? He had no hunting license? Why? Maybe because he shoots at people. No alcohol was involved? Why not, you were hunting with the boys, right? Hmmm, correct – very suspicious. Here is the capper, reader, and the reason why I get paid the big bucks – ‘no misconduct involved in the incident’. Really? None? Um, how about the part when the VP shot a man in the fucking head with a shotgun ? If that ain’t misconduct, I want all them felony assault charges overturned, and all my swords back. Here that, Tammy?
So, where does a guy like me go to relax, Florida. This is where I have been. Since I cheesed out of the Friday Fives last week, here instead is a pic from my cell phone. This is a sunset shot off the coast of Key West taken Friday night.
rule #1 in any hunter safety course: always know what you’re shooting at
scenario 1 It is dusk, a few minutes before hunting season ends and you haven’t bagged your prey, yet…you hear a twig snap and you’re sure it’s that big buck that you want so you can show off to the guys…what do you do?
a well-balanced person calls it a day and waits ’til next year