Friday Fives – traffic safety edition

May is Traffice Safety Month

1. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

blind? Blind as in… can’t report my license plate to the authorities blind? I whip empty beer bottles at the blind. Can’t stand em, they are worse than the cripples!


2. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

I was always had a beef with this stupid problem. The rule is you yield to the car on your right, hence the term ‘right of way’. Here is the problem with that: If four cars arrive at the same time, everyone has someone on their right. So it then comes down to an elaborate dance of who looks craziest. I yield for mothers and children, personally. Everyone else is on their own.

3. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?

Faster is better. Might as well put all this insurance to work now and again.

4. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

Well, you lose your license automatically for a year, that would suck major ass. Plus, I am still paying on a car I can’t drive. I am proud to say I have no DUI’s.

5. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

both mean stop, you asshole.

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