HA! Told you so! I was correct! What’s all this gloating, you ask? It seems someone in England has exposed the Guinness book of records as a bunch of crap. You may remember, I wrote about this here some time ago. Just shy of my London debut, our friends at the Sun did some digging. Guess what the new records are this year:
- largest chocolate igloo
- largest dog wedding
- farthest distance to shoot a spitwad
- most headspins in a minute
- longest jump riding a lion (wtf?)
- bets distance squirting milk from an eye
As always, though, I am here to help. Any Limbaugh can sit and complain all day. Being a Democrat, I actually like to help society. So, here is my solution… and you are welcome in advance.
Going forward, no more new categories. None. Everyone competing has to beat an existing record. The Guinness records used to be so important when I was younger that they got an hour of prime time TV where all the freaks did their tricks.