new fun

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Remember how in the old days of the internet boom we made fun of Mullets? Those were good times, but times change. Now, it’s time to make room for a new generation of strangers you can hate… and mock.

That’s right, readers… douchebags. What’s a douchebag? Here is a pretty good layout:

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So, what constitutes a douchebag? There is a popular myth that it’s pretty much anyone you don’t like. Correction; it is anyone I don’t like. When I was much younger, I classified these a holes a ‘chunky heads’. In high school and after, these were the guys who wore Oakley ‘blades‘, and had ‘no fear’ stickers on their trucks. These were the douchebags of my childhood, and I hated them. Not just vacuous, but I think I feared they were getting laid more than me.

So, can I say that anyone who wears (or wore) Oakley blades is a douchebag? The answer is an unequivocal yes. Oh, also… what’s actually even worse? Anyone with a Gold’s gym wifebeater or a ‘club bad boy’ anything. If you possess anything in the world (t shirt, truck, sticker, tattoo) with this iconography… you need to kill yourself. It funny, for someone as remarkably tolerant and peaceful as I am… these are the exceptions.

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