Imagine if I ran up to you and whipped a black golf ball at your head… hard. You would frown upon that. What if I got something four times as heavy as a golf ball, but got to use a golf club to hit it at you. Again, you would frown.
This, though, is the life of an NHL goalie. That puck hurts, deeply. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to sit in a super cold room on a slab of ice and let people pitch shit at you with sticks. Money is not an issue, here. Anyone who seeks to be a hockey goalie has a serious and deep personal defect. Where is Mike Rowe on this one? Even he knows that goalkeeping is suicidal.
I remember our beloved Patrick Wah got busted for domestic dispute years ago. After a bit, the truth came out and he only attacked a door. He beat the shit out of a door while fighting with his wife. Can we be surprised? No, just thankful he never touched the wife. See, someone who is hit by sticks and balls coming at him about 100 mph for about six hours a day prolly does not have a lot of coping mechanisms.
Remember Bam Bam from the Flintstones? Kid was a monster, and didn’t know his hurculean strength. He would make a good goalie. Also, I could see David Banner in the role for about a game. How great would that be? Hulk Goalie! In fact, that sounds like a Disney movie. Someone get me Eisner on the line.