Tiger eats man

tiger.jpg

So, this story kinda freaked me out because I am fascinated with tigers.  I love them, and think they are the coolest animal.  So, you know the tale by now…  Tiger breaks out and attacks zoo patrons.  Tiger kills a 17 year old kid.  Normally, when you hear about this stuff it is a zoo handler who was careless with safety policy.  I have never heard of a zoo animal breaking out and attacking someone.  What was most interesting is how the tiger got out.  See, a gate wasn’t left open.  That tiger got out of it’s regular cage somehow, and for some reason.   This picture above is not just a tiger… it is the tiger.  That is the late Tatiana, who was put down for safety reasons.

Ooooh, guess what.  We just found out the how and the why.  Why did the tiger cross the road?

police considered whether one of the victims taunted the deadly jungle cat.

yeah.  Dude taunted the tiger.  How do we know?  evidence, baby, evidence.

A shoe and blood were found between the fence and the moat, the Chronicle reported, and a footprint has been found on a metal fence at the zoo.

Yeah, jacked up isn’t it?  Now we even may know how the tiger got out.  The tiger climbed up the kid, who may have been IN the enclosure.

The investigation is looking into the possibility that the tiger escaped by latching on to a leg or other body part, the paper reported.

“Somebody created a situation that really agitated [the tiger] and and gave her some method to break her out,” zoo director Manuel Mollinedo told the Chronicle. “A couple of feet dangling over the edge could possibly have done it.”

Now the father is all upset at the zoo, and understandably so.  However, I think the tiger did what the tiger does.  I guess, to me at least, it is implied not to jump in the tiger cage and taunt them.  They probably even have signs to that effect.  I know none of us practiced good judgment when we were 17.  I can tell you I never jumped in a tiger’s cage.  Of course, because of numnuts, the tiger had to be put down.  That makes me sad, because tiger’s are endangered.  Know what isn’t endagered…. 17 year olds.

This story reminds me of a Chris Rock bit about Sigfried and Roy.  He was talking about how people said the tiger went crazy when it attacked Roy Horn.  Rock explained the tiger didn’t go crazy, the tiger went tiger on his ass.  These are large and deadly jungle cats who will kill you.   Don’t train them, don’t taunt them, don’t hug them.

* post script – one day later.  it is entirely possible this kid saved his buddies life, and was NOT taunting the tiger.  There are conflicting stories.  Still, that bit about tigers being endangered and 17 kids not… that was some good stuff wasn’t it?  I mean, we are still friends, right?  Just because I implied the kid deserved to be eaten by a tiger.  With the information i had at the time, I stand by my statement.  That being said, I was very possibly wrong.  There.  I said it.

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10 thoughts on “Tiger eats man

  1. As soon as I heard this story I knew there was going to be more to it. In Buffalo, in the last 10 years, two polar bears have had to be put down to save the idiots who climbed into their habitats. Not smart!

  2. ok, another update. I wasn’t wrong. These kids (the ones who were attacked by the tigers) were found by police to have sling shots on them. They did more than ‘taunt’ the tigers. It appears they attacked the tiger and the tiger then was only defending itself.

    why do I doubt myself?

  3. further confirmation that i was totally right. The kids admitted they were drunk and taunting the tigers. I believe they said they went to the zoo with the express goal of taunting the tigers. Doesn’t the zoo cost like $15 or something?

    the only regret here is the tiger didn’t eat all three of those fuckers before they had to put it down.

  4. Did I mention the sling shot found? I used to do many dumb things when I was young, too many to mention. They never invovled paying admission, or man-eating carnivores though.

    whatever happened to the good old days of sticking firecrackers up cats’ butts?

    * oh come on, I would never do that. I think it is a myth, like cow tipping (which I also wouldn’t do).

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  6. I am a young aspiring writer looking for an inspirational writer to use as my muse. I was told to look at one known as Lono, but when I did I found his writing a disgrace to all writers of the world. You should be ashamed. That’s the woist.

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  8. hi my name is jordan richelle shelton that i have two cats there names are candi and snowflake and i have two dogs there names are onyx and rascle and i have one fish and its nane is rainbow and one turle its name is jake that is my family that lives what me all the time

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