Clemens is Innocent


You may have heard that baseball superstar Roger Clemens is talking to congress right now about steroids.   Specifically, everyone on the planet believes he has done steroids except him.

 Turns out Clemens may be right, and we owe him an apology.  See the headlines today from today’s news:

Clemens: Andy Pettitte ‘misheard’ steroid talk

See, Andy just misheard the ‘Rocket’.  That’s his nickname, ‘the Rocket’.  Turns out that what Clemens was talking about was taking ‘Peroids’.  His concern was about shrinking ‘pesticles’, and killed three of his wife’s dogs in a fit of road rage.  Also overheard were his intentions to mislead ‘Songress’.

Mr. Clemens, on behalf of America… we apologize for the accusations after mis-hearing you.  We were in the wrong.  When you go to Federal ‘pound me in the ass’ prison for lying to congress, we’ll make sure you get a cell mate with exceptional hearing.


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