stop it with the cakes

Dear food network. Please stop with the cakes. we get it. It seems approximately 98% of your programming is now cake based. We know about Ace of Cakes. It is pretty entertaining, but that may just be my nerd crush on Mary Alice. Now, everything is cake based. Even Alton Brown did a show on cupcakes. Who cares, man?

Whatever happened to Emeril? did you know he is gone, and they canceled his show? yup. Martha Stewart owns him now. What about Mario Batali? Where did he go? Also gone. Anthony Bourdain, they lost him years to the travel channel. Even ubergal Rachel Ray seems gone. She is on day time tv now, and Oprah owns her. So who is left? The likable Bobby Flay, whose job it is now is to remind people that even if they have been doing something all their life, he can still do it better than them in Throwdown. Seems kinda dickish, doesn’t it? Also, you are aware that Iron Chef now only hosts Flay vs Iron hottie Cat Cora every show.

How about Gordon Ramsey? He has at least three shows. However, Fox has them all.

Me, I am helpful, though. I come to you with solutions instead of problems. Solution, spin off the food network. Open the cake channel, and go back to cooking food on the good network. I mean, ESPN has six channels. PBS has two channels in our market. My cable system has 1200 channels. Surely, we can support more food programming.

There was this show, LONG ago on the food channel.  It was called ‘Ready, Set, Cook’.  It was a game show, and it was delightful.  The set was a kitchen with two of everything (fridge, stove, cutting boards etc.)  Think of Iron Chef, but without high tech equipment and pomp and all that.  There were two cooks who competed in real time in thirty minutes.  They didn’t have anything in their kitchen that you don’t have.  Also, they didn’t have sous chefs or anything like that.  It was silly, and fun.

That is what the food network was born of, and has gotten away from.  We are at a crossroads here for the channel.  This is like the 40 minute mark on ‘Behind the Music’ where the bass player just died… but you know there will be a happy ending soon.  I found a British version online, so click here.  It is similar to the American version, but without the gay accents.

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