1. What were some of the smells and tastes of your childhood?
mom’s home cooking. taco night, greasy homemade onion rings, big holiday meals. cereal. Normal great childhood stuff. That is, until Dad would come home one night after one of his benders with the belt. Just kidding, doofus. Dad was great, mom was great… life was great. it remains as such. I know it’s not cool to say, but my childhood rocked!
2. What did you have as a child that you do not think children today have?
PE and physical exercise. Video games are the poison of America, and will cost us a century of productivity. Did you know that Pennsylvania is the only state which mandates PE? The wonderful and timeless Richard Simmons is a tireless crusader to get PE back in schools. Go, do, now.
3. What elementary grade was your favorite?
I fondly remember third grade, Mrs. Reifschneider. She kind of took me under her wing and saw that I had promise, even though I was a lazy turd.
4. What summer do you remember the best as a child?
every summer. it was swim all day every day. also, the school would open up the gym as a ‘rec center’. This was a place kids could go that was safe, air conditioned, and supervised. They had games setup like ping pong, basketball, and the teachers came in and did classes (like boxing, or judo). The best part was that it was free, and you didn’t need an appointment. You knew the hours of the rec center and could show up whenever to cool down and play around and meet up with friends. See, we didn’t have cell phones back then.
5. What one piece of advice would you give to your younger self, and at what age?
regarding the girls: they are dumb like us, just in different ways. Don’t try and figure it out. have some self confidence, they will come to you in time.
regarding school: pay attention! You have ZERO obligations in life and are being offered unlimited free education by people who really care about you. Things you learn here will carry you through life. Pay attention!
regarding getting in trouble: dude, that whole thing is a bluff. There is NO permanent record in the principles office. There is no possible way any adult can or will ever find out about a thing you did before you were 18. It’s the law, now get back to some serious mayhem (but don’t fuck around in school, and have respect for people). Not everyone is ‘the man’, and there is actually no one seeking to ‘keep you down’. In fact, there is no ‘the man’ at all. It’s all just people trying to carve their way through life, just like you will. The problem is, a great many of them don’t have good intentions. the only person who holds you down is you. that is why education is the key little brother.
being popular: don’t sweat that. You have some good friends who you trust, that is money. All those popular kids whose folks are rich? They all end up as suicides or working at a gas station when they are 30.
from sunny Florida, I bit you good day.