How to sell the bailout

So, the big wall street bailout failed today.  Many will argue why.  Some will say it does absolutely nothing for the taxpaying voter yet spends all it’s resources protecting fat cats.  True.  Some will say there is actually zero protection against existing ‘golden parachute’s for suits who bankrupt their own companies.  That would be correct.  Other’s might say this gives no one oversight witht this money.  All accountibility in the billl gives oversight to the asshats who got us here in the first place.  Yes, also true.

But, it ain’t the message, babe… it’s the messenger.  You bailout folks need a WAY better spokesman.  Know who your rally guy is?  The worst president in history.  That’s what more than 70% of Americans say.  That includes both Richard Nixon and the two terms Mussolini did in the 40’s.

See, you got a guy plugging this thing who has NO credibility with the American people.  He is a liar, a thief, and a war crimininal.  No one will buy anything from him.  I wouldn’t buy cipro from him if he was Donald Rumsfeld and I had bird flu. You need someone with more than pathos… you need both ethos and logos.  Quite frankly,  you need Billy Mays.  If Billy Mays was selling poo on TV I would be a shit millionaire.  Recently I missed an entire week of work because I mighty puttied my junk to the lazy boy at home.  True story, the product does work!

* ok…  to be fair.  One of those statistics is totally made up, and several links are nothing but cereal commercials.
 
** holy crap.  I am like a prophet.  Up there, I said Bush was at 70% disapproval.  That was, admittedly, a number made up.  Hence the clarification above.  Turns out, I was right.  Fucker’s dis-approval rating was announced today at 67%.  The part about the cereal, though, is also true.
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2 thoughts on “How to sell the bailout

  1. Pingback: Oh billy « I am Correct

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