Friday Fives

1. If you owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Yummy stuff cooked in skillets and woks.  Hot food, lots of meat.  Think:   Onions, garlic, steak, chicken, more onions, shrimp, butter, a crap load of peppers.  Every kind of peppers:   Green peppers, jalapenos, serranos, you name it.  Please add onions again to that.

In fact, that is the name of my restaurant > peppers.   Wait, that is pedestrian.  Why not name it after the best name in football.  This is really a dude’s name, and it is my favorite name in the world:  Julius Peppers.
That, friends, is the name of my Restaurant – Julius Peppers®
2. What is your favorite restaurant and why?

This great new place, Julius Peppers.  Everything is so tasty.  It’s like, onions and meat and peppers and it’s all in a cream sauce over angel hair.  They only have one dish, but it is super good.

Ok, that is a valid question and I should answer it.  Since Crazy Jerry’s is in limbo, I am on a Greek bender for the last several years.  Specifically, Gyros.  It is god’s perfect food, and I seek out and eat Gyros at every place in metro Denver.  It is the measure of an entire restaurant.

So, who has the best gyros?  Am glad you asked.  If you like a bare bones, I could eat three of these kinda gyro, you want Pita Jungle up at University & Evans.

For best over all, and most flavorful and wonderful and yummy?  That is right here in Parker, luckily.  It’s called Sultan Grill. How much do I love it?  I have it programmed in my speed dial on the blackberry.

Oh, and I should give honorable mention to this place.  It is a retarded heartless and soulless corporate chain.  However, Champps makes a really great gyro sammich.   I don’t want you to eat there, though.  Go support a ma and pa place.  However, if you must sell your soul to the devil and eat like a shill (I am looking in your direction Applebys and Black Eyed Peas eaters), go to Champps and dig their gyros.

most importantly, and shallowly (is that a word) is your pronounciation.  this is NOT up for discussion.  Say it like this, or the hairy Greek guy is going to box your ears:   yee- rose.  Emphasis on the first sylable.  ‘YEE – rose.’

Not ‘guy-rose’… or ‘jy-rose’.    Say ‘yee-rose’ or you are a racist ass.  If you are going to hang out with me, and you aren’t.  But if you were, this would be an issue (hear me, Roy?)

3. What is your favorite fast food place?

Carl’s junior.  They have a couple of really good items.  That sante fe chicken chili burger thingy, and their $6 low carb cheeseburger.  Amazing, big, tasty, and healthy.  Plus, though it’s bad for me, their fried zucchini with ranch is the bomb.

Oh, and everything on the menu at Jack in the Box.  Jack in the Box isn’t even fast food, it’s a hug from god.  I worked at Jack in the Box when I was a kid.  I love their food.  However, when I moved to Colorado, there were NO Jack in the Boxes.  Ten long years I suffered.   However, they just opened one right here in town around Halloween last year.  Am stoked!

The reality is that I am working on losing weight at eat at those places maybe once a quarter.  Bummer.   Getting old, like you, is totally stupid.

4. If you had to choose only one type of food to eat for a year, what would it be?

Type of food?  Meaning, genre of cuisine?  You don’t mean, like, ‘chicken’.  I think you mean ‘mexican, Italian, greek…’  right?  I will assume it is.  In that case, Mexican food.  Nothing better.  No better place, no better people, no better language, and no better food.  It’s quite possible when you read this I am on the beach in Mexico.    Wanna rob my house?   Bad idea, read the chapter on Arne.  Seriously, do.

5. What is your favorite cereal?

For a myriad of reasons pertaining to health and laziness, I no longer eat cereal.  The only cereals my wife lets me eats are this kashi sort of shit that tastes and looks like birdfood.   So, I had to reach back to childhood.  I would say Apple Jacks or Honeycomb.  And, of course… Cookie Crisps.

* in closing > I want you to root for the Cardinals this Sunday.  This is more than a cinderella story.  Arizona never ever had a title game in the last 65 years until now.   Arizona has never even BEEN to the Superbowl.  Not with AZ, not with St Louis, or Chicago before them.

Frankly, they have always been a truly horrible team.  It’s their ownership.  The Bidwells are the Robert Novak of football:  they make America worse by simply being alive.   However, they are amazing this year… and led by the nicest guy on earth > Kurt Warner (thrice retired grocery guy from Iowa).

I know the Cards aren’t favored (the gaming line is Vegas is seven against them right now).  However, they weren’t favored in a single play off game yet, and they haven’t lost.   So, root for the underdogs and pretend to have a heart for a hours.

** secret note to the Steelers.  How to beat AZ.  It is super easy.  #1 > blitz Kurt Warner every play.   He handles a rush about like Brian Griese.  #2 > double cover Larry Fitzgerald at every moment.  He scored three touchdowns against Atlanta in ONE quarter before they decided to drop zone and cover him man on man.  If the Cards win, it is on the shoulders of Larry Fitzgerald, guaranteed.

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One thought on “Friday Fives

  1. I remember when you worked at Jack in the Box. You wore pants with “fake pockets.” You didn’t have any place to put your keys or wallet. I guess this was to deter you from stealing money…or their “secret recipe.” Wait? Secret Recipe. Isn’t that KFC? God…I think you worked there too!!

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