Before last week, the term ‘Chicago 7‘ was one of the most famous in politics. It was everything that went wrong in the 60’s: super pushy hippies, police brutality, Chicago politics, war, and why everyone hated Democrats (even though it was Nixon who fucked us). Lot’s of things went right in the 60’s, but this is where everything went wrong. What happened was this: America was a HUGE mess because of the Vietnam war. There was a Presidential nomination thingy in Chicago to formally endorse the Democratic candidate to run against Nixon.
You may be thinking “Chicago 7”, you mean the biggest police riot in history? Right? I do.
So, when I hear the term ‘Chicago 7’, I hang my head. Until now! It’s now a stromboli promotion from the national chain ‘Old Chicago’. um… yay? I don’t know, it seems more than insensitive… it seems like bad marketing. I guess everything is all better now. Woody Allen says comedy is simply tragedy + time.
So, I thought maybe I am just getting old and curmudgeony. Why don’t I get off my high horse and let everyone be? I agree. In fact, I have some more menu suggestions for those thoughtful suits at Old Chicago.
Matthew Shepard fruitcake
Holocaust Juice – oven fresh
Twin Towers of white bread – to die for!
The Joaquin Phoenix – a shot from every bottle in the bar, and under the sink too!
The Lusitania submarine sammich
The Duane Allman slider plate
The Shannon Hoon soda upgrade (unlimited coke refills)
The Guns & Roses burger (with everything removed but the top bun)
The Teddy > your entrée served underwater, and you never pay the price
The Bobby > you get it in the kitchen
The Jack > to go only, throw at your head as your drive away
The Steve Irwin
The Pearl Harbor > a surprise teriyaki attack!
The USS Cole > on the side
The Scott Norwood > a straight shot from the kitchen, to the table on the right
The General Motors > even if you don’t order it, it’s on your tab anyway
Mark Chapman shooters
The Cheney > we can’t tell you what you ordered or where it is.
Well, I think I made my point. Sorry to prattle on.