Friday Fives

snow style >

1.  When was your first snow storm?

well, I should qualify this with some boring and oft repeated data.  I grew up in Phoenix, so I didn’t get to see snow fall from the sky until a teenage trip back to Buffalo, NY… where the other half of our family lives.  I remember we were at Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Grimsby for Christmas and it snowed Christmas eve.  I can’t begin to tell you how tickled I was, and how meaningful it felt to me.  I remember running outside and stamping ‘Merry Christmas’ in the street in the snow.

I thought this would be a welcome memo of joy for morning drivers.   By the time I got back inside and warmed up… I looked out the window to size up my masterpiece.  It was gone!

Gone!  erased for all time.  Being from Phoenix, I didn’t quite understand the physics of snow.  Yeah, the new snow covered the old snow (bearing my tidings) in about ten minutes.  In Buffalo, they call that ‘lake effect snow’… and it ain’t no thing to them.
2. When was your favorite snow storm?

Probably my first blizzard in Denver, Oct 2007. We had moved here in February of that year from AZ.  It was my first blizzard ever, and was terribly romantic.  We were in an apartment so crappy that it literally snowed through the gaps in the window sills. Also, we were too poor for cable back then, and our broadcast tv didn’t work for shit.  So, we were genuinely surprised.  However, we had a big fireplace and had met some friends in the building and made a party of it.  We had 8 foot snow drifts by morning, and we both had to dig our cars out for jobs we eventually didn’t have to go to.  We loved it.  We had never seen the sky unleash a holy white terror for 16 hours straight like that.  It was humbling!

3.  Comfort foods?  Desert or savory?

savory, I guess.  My favorite food is sammiches.  A well crafted hot sandwhich is the best thing on earth.   Safeway makes a really good one, get the ‘Chicago South Side panini’.  Make sure they add your lettuce and tomatoe after they toast it.  Also, Crazy Jerry’s sammiches are just about a vice.  I get there once a week.  Unless you live here in South Denver, you have no idea.  You will, though.  Come and visit.

4.  Ever had a car accident in winter weather?

Yes, it was the moment I knew I had to get a  truck.  In college, I lived in Flagstaff, AZ.  Flagstaff is higher than Denver (7,000 feet, vs Denver’s 5,200) and we got crazy snows.  I was delivering Chinese food for years in college to make ends meet.  One day I was out delivering (or is it… derivering ha ha) in a huge snow storm.  I got stopped at an intersection and my little Honda slid on the ice into a pick up truck in front of me.  Crash!  It was mortifying, because if my insurance knew I was delivering food, they would not cover me (or her) for the damage.  So, as I walked up to make sure the driver was ok, I slid the Chinese food into the trunk.  Done!

So, the front of my Honda was destroyed.  $5,000 in damage, as it slid under her pickup truck.  The good news was it did nothing to her pickup truck.  She thought the whole thing was funny.  She said we didn’t need to call the cops (it would have been my ticket, see.  Rear ending always is.  Failure to control vehicle… i have a couple of those tickets).  She said her boyfriend wouldn’t even notice.

*** it is pertinent I mention the boyfriend angle because she was really cute.  See, my buddy Jaime and I picked up two chicks we met in a car accident in high school, and we combined cars and hung out together all night.  Weird way to pick up chicks, but it worked… after they t-boned us from running a stop sign. Strange, but totally true.  I lament to report I did not get the opportunity to t-bone them.  If you know what I mean.  Maybe not a way to meet girls after all.  What the hell did I know?

Anyhow, at that moment, I realized I should really get a pick up truck.  Six pick up trucks later, I have driven or owned nothing else since I crashed that little Honda.

a postscript to that.  Years ago I was driving up in Boulder in a snow storm and a similar thing happened.  I had stopped at a red light and a little tiny Geo metro railed into the back of my Toyota truck.  I went back and found his car buried underneath my towing receiver hitch.  It totally destroyed his front end, and all I had (once we drug him out) was some of his red paint at the bottom of my hitch.

with absolutely zero bucks in damage, I knew I had to pay it forward.  The kid was freaked and said he didn’t have insurance.  I told him don’t sweat it, we are cool, he is free to go.  I wonder if that dude is driving a truck right now, telling a similar tale.  not really.  I don’t really care.

5.  Would you let Carl Kipper be your designated driver?

yes, I would.  We are into the tail hours of the ‘blizzard of 2009‘, and so with my office being closed most of today and most of tomorrow, I have had a few drinks.  That is what we do for blizzards, drink and watch movies.  Truth be told, this wasn’t much of a ‘blizzard’ at all.  I only have about a foot of snow outside.  Regardless, I do not drink and drive.  Carl is on point.

Now, here is something maybe you didn’t know.  Did you know that a ‘blizzard’ isn’t really about snow?  It ain’t.  Blizzard is a weather condition regarding wind and visibility.  Blizzard conditions are often declared long after snow has stopped.  This is your blizzard cheat sheet > snowing at one inch an hour or more, and winds of 20 MPH or more simultaneously.  We certainly had that today.

Really, though, today wasn’t much of a blizzard.  A blizzard is when you open your front door and there is an 8 foot wall of snow because of drifts.  A blizzard is when you open the garage, you can’t see your pickup truck.  I have been in plenty of those here in Denver.  They are awesome.  Today was just a decent angry snow.  Good thing, it was the first snow of the year.

big tangent there.  Sorry.  Yes, Carl is my driver.  Carl is many things to me.  Today, though, Carl is my driver.  Carl is my lover.  Carl is my gal!

in closing, remember what the snowflake has taught us.  You are unique, just like everyone else!


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