Friday Fives

1.  If you could give out Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress and Best Director Oscars to any movies (not necessarily all from the same year) to people/films that haven’t won, what would they

I think the most under recognized actor currently is Paul Giamatti.  I am still pissed he didn’t get an oscar nod for Sideways yet Haden Church did.  It mystifies me.  Giamatti is the kind of actor I like, a character actor who toils in details.  Before him, it was Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and William H Macy.  I like the actors who will take the bit parts and just embrace them.  The guys who aren’t on the posters, but make every movie better by their presence.  Of course, that doesn’t last.  All of them are super stars now.

so, I was looking for a new guy to follow.  Briefly, it was Jason Statham.  He is the handsome British guy that has less acting range than Vince Vaughn.  I mean, every single movie he has ever done is the exact same role.  EXACT:  transporter, crank, Italian job, snatch.  There are three or four of each of those, and he keeps playing the same guy.  And… not the same ‘type’ of guy.  I mean… there is only one roll.   He is always the driver, he is always the bad ass.

I haven’t been so disappointed since Colin Farrell.  Remember how we all thought he would be a HUGE star?  They compared him to Leo.   He couldn’t carry DiCaprio’s shoes.  Who else disappoints me as an actor?  Pacino, of course.  He has played the same character for about 30 years now.  I call that Dennis Farina syndrome.  David Caruso, of course.  The reason why I super hate Caruso is that I think he probably can act.  He chooses not to.  He sickens me and represents everything people hate about America.  Hubris!

Oh, Denzel is another one who is super overrated.  Why does everyone love him?  Because he is good looking?  Because he is black?  Because he ALWAYS plays slightly compromised characters?  He hasn’t acted since Malcolm X.  To be fair, though, he really knocked that one out of the park.

2.  What is your favorite genre of writing (short stories, novels, nonfiction…)?

as a writer, I personally prefer short fiction.   As a reader, I prefer biographies.

3.  Are there any CDs to which you know every word? Movies?

yes, almost all of them.  I am the biggest rock dork on earth.  Allow me to say this, in all truthfulness, I know more about rock and roll than anyone you have ever met, nor ever will meet.  If you know me well, you also know this is true.  Above me, there is only the sage… and no one else.

as for movies, yes:  A Fish Called Wanda, and the Princess Bride

4.  If you could write and cast your own movie, what would it be about and who would you cast?

it would star Paul Giamatti as me.  He is short and schlubby* and yet lovable.  Bingo!  The movie would be full of songs that turn into cameos… like what Jonathan Richman did in ‘something about mary’ or that guy from Men at Work does on Scrubs.  Scenes like this would unfold all over the place.  Like a Blues Brothers for lame white people.

5.  What’s the best song to wake you up? Put you to sleep?

what relaxes me to sleep is actually tv.  Especially something super vapid like TMZ.  It is entertaining to watch, but never puts me in a situation where I feel I need to be conscious for more than a minute or so.   As for waking up, Brett Saunders voice brings me great joy.  He wants me to stay awake (and little does) because he is so compelling, and the best interviewer on earth.

* a closing note.  according to the auteurs here at WordPress, ‘schlubby‘ is not a word.  I submit their programmers have never met me, and so remain ignorant of a blissful type.


2 thoughts on “Friday Fives

  1. 1. Two come to mind—one for best Actress and one for Best Supporting. For Best Actress, I’d name Jennifer Jason Leigh for “Mrs. Parker and the Viscous Circle.” Her portrayal of Dorothy Parker filled in all of the gray spaces of what it was to be a [struggling] woman in the Algonquin roundtable.

    My Best Supporting nod would go to Bridget Fonda in the grossly unappreciated “A Simple Plan.” She personified and owned the role of the conflicted small town housewife who struggles between Christian morality and the daily battle to make ends meet. It was brilliant.

    2. A novel with a beginning, a middle, and an end. I love, yet hate short stories. They are all beginning, or middle, but never have an end. I gotta have an end. Does that sound ridiculously gay?

    3. Ummm. . . It has to be an Elvis Costello CD. I’ll go with “Imperial Bedroom,” as I’m feeling confident that I know all of the words.

    4. It would be the Great American Ed Story, starring a younger John Cusack (who wouldn’t be allowed to talk to the camera. . . . for god sakes. . . this is your comeback vehicle man. . . .try something new. . .Oscar®-worthy even).

    5. To wake up to? It’s called the “Shower Song.” It goes to the theme of Rocky.. something like this:

    Gonna Shower Now!
    Buh duh duh.
    Feel the Power Now!
    Buh duh duh.
    DUH DUH DUH!!!

    It’s a great shower song.. .totally royalty free, and gives you a little boost that you need to start the day.

    To go to sleep to? Hmmm. . ..I guess I mostly nestle in with the soothing sounds of Courtney Love. Guess I just snuggle that way.

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