Merry Christmas > from an Atheist

 

                 Hey all, I wanted reach out and give everyone a big yummy godless hug!  I know that this time of year, we hear a lot about politically correct police, cultural sensitive… etc etc.  I hate this too.  I am a HUGE fan of Christmas.  We have a Christmas tree, Christmas lights… etc.  I even have a small stuffed reindeer mounted on the grill of my truck. See, to me, Christmas is a cultural holiday.  See, I celebrate Cinco De Mayo, and don’t really care about Mexican Independence from French King Maximilian.  I celebrate Easter, even though I am not a bunny.  I celebrate Valentine’s day, even though I am a dude.  I absolutely do not regard Christmas as the providence of Christians and Catholics to celebrate the holidays.  It is common knowledge that Jesus was born in the Spring.  So, knowing that… we can either assume Christmas represents the Winter Solstice… of the birth of Santa Clause.  Either one is cool with me, I just like the spirit of the holiday.  Oh, and cookies.

                 So, I know a lot of you may be forced to say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of Merry Christmas.  Me?  I won’t do it.  Everyone I see gets a nice smile and a warm ‘Merry Christmas’.  No one has ever corrected me, or seem hurt.  I also understand that lots of this pressure comes from those of different or non religious backgrounds (like myself).  Well, I just want you to know that not all atheists are uptight, or worried about you casting religion upon them.  I am not offended if you say god bless you, or if you pray for me.  In fact, I very much appreciate the nice thought.  I am flattered and thankful to have such considerate friends.  Hell, you can take me to church with you even.  Just know, I believe even less than you do.  Let’s also have you go ahead and admit that you don’t understand any of this either.

              To me, people’s religion is like their sexuality.  I not only do not care, but it isn’t really my business.  It’s no one’s business, Mike.

tangent alert*

            I remember reading a few years ago that the majority of Americans do not trust Atheists.  I am guessing that is because they feel we have no one, or nothing, to answer to.  To, I guess us Atheists are out there jay walking, and returning our DVDs  un-rewound.  I take issue with this, as I regard it as the opposite.  The way I see it, the religious are being good in order to get to heaven… or avoid hell.  So, by that logic… a Christian is being good because a) god is watching you b) god is judging you c) you will go to hell if you fail  d) you get to go to heaven if you play well.   So, how is a single think you do possible to be construed as selfless or altruistic?  You aren’t, at any point, doing the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing.  You are doing good because you are terrified that your god will f you up.

          As an Atheist, I am accountable to no one but my wife and my dogs.  No one knows I spend every single weekend volunteering.  Likely, no one cares.  I don’t expect you to.   See, I contribute to my community because I feel it is right… not because god will kick my ass if I don’t.  It’s like parking in handicap spaces, or tripping children.  Sometimes you do something just because it is the right thing to do.

         So, if us Atheists are accountable to no one but ourselves… then what is my motivation to do good?  How can you possibly say that I can not be trusted, when you are so deep kissing the bible’s ass you don’t even know what is right anymore.  I will give you a hint.  Take the 10% your church demands you tithe and funnel it to a women’s shelter instead. See, integrity is what you do when nobody is looking.

          Don’t go worrying about what us atheists are doing.  Apparently, we are only 3 -5% of the population.  That is less than lefties (who incidentally rule, and are being discriminated against this very moment J) Goddamn lefties, now that is a scourge.

Merry Christmas, America!  I love you, and thank you for letting me into your lives.

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