* update below 1.20.2014
You know, when I look for a movie to watch. I have a few qualifiers. One is that it is rated R. Adult content, baby. You know what that means, boobies, explosions, and swearing. These are things I love, and simply don’t get enough of in real life. In fact, I have been an ‘adult’ for nearly 20 years now. Quite frankly, there is a dearth of boobies and swearing in my life. I have done my part for society. I pay my bills and taxes and I shake old ladies and help babies across the street. Where is my full frontal nudity America? You aren’t doing your part!
I don’t have to tell you, but here is what is real adult content: paying bills, settling, leftovers, getting up every day at 6 am. Yeah buddy, there is your adult content right there. I feel as if I have been sold a false bill of goods regarding being a grown up.
My wife doesn’t read this, does she? I guess we are about to find out! Good night, and see for the Fives.
* I was thinking about this piece this morning when i saw something on TV. I wanted to look it up and see if it was as clever as I thought it was. It isn’t. The premise of this bit is fucking hilarious, but I don’t feel I fully executed on it. That isn’t the update, though. I am not the first person to do this bit about ‘adult content’. It appears Calvin and Hobbes did a similar bit. Not sure when, but he retired before my piece was written. So, just wanted y’all to know I am not stealing bits… not consciously, anyway. On the other hand, I am not deleting this. I think it stands on its own, and I feel it was original.