Adult Content

* update below 1.20.2014

You know, when I look for a movie to watch.  I have a few qualifiers.  One is that it is rated R.  Adult content, baby.  You know what that means, boobies, explosions, and swearing.  These are things I love, and simply don’t get enough of in real life.  In fact, I have been an ‘adult’ for nearly 20 years now.  Quite frankly, there is a dearth of boobies and swearing in my life.  I have done my part for society.  I pay my bills and taxes and I shake old ladies and help babies across the street.  Where is my full frontal nudity America?  You aren’t doing your part!

I don’t have to tell you, but here is what is real adult content:  paying bills, settling, leftovers, getting up every day at 6 am.  Yeah buddy, there is your adult content right there.  I feel as if I have been sold a false bill of goods regarding being a grown up.

My wife doesn’t read this, does she?  I guess we are about to find out!  Good night, and see for the Fives.

* I was thinking about this piece this morning when i saw something on TV.  I wanted to look it up and see if it was as clever as I thought it was.  It isn’t.  The premise of this bit is fucking hilarious, but I don’t feel I fully executed on it.  That isn’t the update, though.  I am not the first person to do this bit about ‘adult content’.  It appears Calvin and Hobbes did a similar bit.  Not sure when, but he retired before my piece was written.  So, just wanted y’all to know I am not stealing bits… not consciously, anyway.  On the other hand, I am not deleting this.  I think it stands on its own, and I feel it was original.

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