1. Did you ever play baseball as a kid?
Yes, didn’t care for it. My dad was the coach, so there was a lot pressure to play baseball. That’s what my brothers did, because they are spineless cowards who are dead to me*. My passion was soccer. Funny, now I care about neither. Oh, and let’s call a spade a spade. I was terrible at baseball. Just… terrible.
2. Today is opening day at Coors’ Field. What is your favorite baseball stadium memory?
Well, back in college, we took a road trip to Chicago. The person we were visiting lived super close to Wrigley Field. We were there during the off season, and the place was wide open… for whatever reason. So, I was able to run the bases. How cool is that? On the subject of Coors Field, by the way, I LOVE that joint. I don’t care for baseball, it bores me to tears. However, a day spent at at Rockies game is always enjoyed. It is a beautiful stadium with a cool view of downtown all around it. Seriously, dig this view. Imagine sitting there on a beautiful sunny day with a beer in hand and that view of the Rockies.
oh, and dig the building itself. It is all kinds of classy. Probably the best building in all of Colorado.
3. Are you a lefty, a righty or a switch hitter?
Lefty. Very much so. Militant lefty. Zurdo! Many of the greats were lefties. Nay, all of them.
4. What’s deal with the shortstop?
It’s a bizarre position, and absolutely the most critical. Who cares, though. Baseball is boring, and we now know they were all drugged up. What a bunch of pussies. Football, now that is a sport! Also, football actually drug tests, so you know they are legit.
5. How come so many pitchers have beards or mustaches? What’s up with that?
Because, after hearing the term ‘are you a pitcher or a catcher’ enough, everyone assumes you are gay. The only way to prove them wrong is a super awesome mustache.
* just trying to see if my brothers read the page. That’s all. We are actually very close and happy.