Friday Fives

1.  If you could turn a book into a spectacular motion picture, what book would you choose?

Oh, it would be Kerouac stuff, no question.  On the Road.  I would cast Emile Hirsch in every role.  That kid is amazing.  Also, Dakota Fanning, because she is also amazing.  She is the next Meryl Streep.  Then, I would cast DiCaprio as Neal Cassady.   As William S Burroughs (old Bull Lee in the book), I would give that to Bruce Willis.  Dude has some great range and acting chops.  He’d make a fine junky.

2.  What is the most disappointing musician of all time?

Axl Rose.  He took one of the great bands of all time and single handedly destroyed them.  He is the worst person in history.  Worse than Hitler, Pol Pot, David Caruso, and Stalin combined.   Somehow, though, still not as horrible a person as Rev Fred Phelps.

3.  What movie do you need to tell me about?

Harold and Maude.  It is brilliant.  Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort back in 1971 did this macabre masterpiece.  It is bust out loud hilarious, and the entire soundtrack is done by Cat Stevens.  I urge you to see this movie immediately.  “Don’t be so officious.  That is the curse of a government job!” – Maude

4.  What movie is not as good as critics say?

That Marty Scorsese movie, the Departed.  Now listen, we all love Scorsese.  He is the master of film.  Did you know he invented the rockumentary?  He did, check out ‘the Last Waltz’.  Anyhow, everyone raved about the Departed, and it finally got him an oscar.  However, I thought it was stupid.  Here is why.

Everyone in the movie was a cop.  We now know that.  Also, every single character gets killed during the movie.  They were talking about a sequel.  That would be like the sequel of the Titanic.  You can’t do it, because all your protagonists are dead.

5.  Do you ever listen to the special commentary track on DVDs?

Never once in my entire life


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