It’s a slippery slope?

for Bobo >

“Well, it is a slippery slope, you know…”.

Anytime you hear this in an argument, that person has lost.  That person is also, I promise, an asshole.  Everything that follows that phrase is guaranteed to be dumb.  I know because it is an admission that your argument is weak.  These are the assholes who argue that if you legalize gay marriage… all manner of sickness will descend on society.  I actually heard a guy call in to the talk radio and say “well, if you let guys marries guys, it’s a slippery slope.  What’s next, people marrying dogs or monkeys?”  Here is why this is a poor argument:  A bill would be written to specify a ‘man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman:  no other permutations’.

Also, by taking this ‘slippery slope’ position, you severely weaken your initial point. Basically, you are saying “I am fine with gays being married, but I draw the line at pets.”  If it was a solid argument, it would stop with ‘gays should not marry’.  Your syllogism should end there.  Instead… when you reveal that all manner of other things will fall as a result… you have negated your initial argument.  Once you compare it to something completely different, you have negated your original point. This isn’t a piece about gay marriage at all.  It’s about use of logic and language.  I will fight for the right for gays to marry.  I am a reverend, and I will actually marry them (editors note, since I wrote this a few years ago, I have done a gay wedding.  It was the best wedding I have ever facilitated.  More importantly, I will fight for the English language and I will fight your shitty syllogisms and lazy execution of logic.

I don’t like chili beers.  I think that idea is disgusting.  I am not going to compare that to shit, though.  I don’t need to.  I don’t care what you put in beer, or all the different ideas.  I just know that chili in beer sucks balls.  Have it all you want.

That is fine, I think we can all agree on that.  Well, maybe not this guy.

If you feel that gays should be not allowed to marry, your point has to be stronger than monkey fucking as the inevitable outcome.

Oh, and don’t say the bible says so, either… you assholes.  Yes, the bible says man should not lie with man.  However, it also says slaves are fine, cast your women out of the village if they are menstruating, or kill them if they are wearing cloths of a different kind.  So, let’s stop sourcing the bible for morality.  The first testament has father/daughter sex in it.  Yeah… like MacKenzie & John Phillips type stuff.

In conclusion, gays should be allowed to marry.  If you are against that, fine, but you need a way better argument.

The second group of people who use that term is gun nuts.  I don’t even want to bother with this group.  These guys are zealots, and logic will not work on them.  Plus, they are all self righteous and feel they are actually better citizens than those of us who are not armed.  “you can’t ban high capacity magazines.  I need 64 bullets to protect my property.  Plus, if you ban high capacity magazines next it will be my grenades or shoulder fired missile or my .22 hunting rifle.  It’s a slippery slope!”  Go ahead, try and talk about guns with a gun nut.  I dare you.  Just try and say “I don’t think babies should have machine guns.”

Here is the third group of meatheads who say ‘It’s a slippery slope’:  anti drug people.  These folks believe if you legalize marijuana, within days the streets will be filled with dead whores and junkies.  These are the ‘gateway drug’ folks.  Know what is a gateway drug?  Water.  Yup.  I studied drug addict in history, and they all started on water.  So, Denver recently legalized marijuana.  We actually have more weed dispensaries in Denver than Starbucks. Go ahead and read that sentence again.

So, what happened to Denver?  Did we all end up as junkies?  Nope, because they only legalized weed.  The law is extremely specific, as laws tend to be.  Yup, no slope.  Instead, we are saving millions on not arresting and incarcerating smokers, and making even more by selling it and taxing it.  You know your annoying friend who is obsessed with legalization?  the one who is always spouting facts, and reminding you that he first American Flag was made of hemp.  Well, that guy was right.  No crime problem, no uptick in drug abuse, and we are making shitloads of money by taxing stoners.  It’s win win!

If your point and opinion is valid, it need not a qualifier of any kind.  You would not say “don’t run a stoplight, because if you do.. it’s a slippery slope.  It could lead to accidents, tickets, and copycat behavior.  If you are all driving through stop signs with your kid in the car, he will be learning to also run stop signs.  Then, his buddies will start doing the same.  It’s a slippery slope from one rolling ‘California; stop to all laws of traffic coming apart.

If people take advantage of gay marriage laws, and then marry their donkey, THEN you get to say ‘told you it was a bad idea’.  Here is what you should do.  Just say this “I don’t like gay marriage.  I don’t think it is right on many levels.”  You are now done.  You don’t have to say why, or to rationalize it to anymore.

I am not sure if my beef is with that stupid phrase… or the people who employ it.  Frankly, both must be stopped.  A bigger concern for society should probably be why this piece dipped into several monkey ejaculation references.  How does that serve the conversation?  Frankly, someone should edit this garbage a little better.  But, if you limit the language, you start down a road of censorship.  First, you tell him not to use monkey jizz at the end of each paragraph.  Then, you limit vowel use.  It’s a slip…. well… you know.

In closing, it is ok if you don’t like gay marriage.  Same thing with not liking pickles on your burger.  I am FINE with you not liking gay marriage.  Just don’t butcher language and logic to do it.  Say “I don’t like it.”  or, “it’s gross and weird”, or “I am against it.”  Just know it is your issue, not theirs.

**** sorry, this got way too ranty.  It could, and should, be tightened up and probably cropped to about half the words.  I just get worked up.  I care about gay rights, and language.  So if they cross paths, I am going to write the shit out of it.  thanks for your patience.  I would like your feedback.  did it go too long?

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5 thoughts on “It’s a slippery slope?

  1. I thought I’d add a little addendum to the slippery slope. The slippery slope is one of the basic seven fallacies of reasoning. Hence, any argument that tries to persuade using such a fallacy takes itself out of the credibility ring, just by identifying itself. Meaning, the idiots are dinging the idiot bell every time they open up their mouths. Some of the other fallacies are harder to identify, but still weaken any argument to which they are attached. One of my personal favorites is the Appeal ignorance, (I’m right because you can’t prove me wrong) . . . a favorite of religious zealots.

  2. Here is another crappy argument. i call it the ‘Gary Barnett’ defense, after a Colorado college football coach finally got canned. It speaks to why Josh McDaniels was fired from the Broncos after being caught cheating. He claimed he didn’t know his coaches were cheating.

    So, here is the deal… no matter what you are FIRED. Why? Either you knew about the cheating and lied… or worse. You genuinely had no idea about the cheating and scandal going on in your organization. If that is the case, you are fired for not knowing what is happening in your own locker room.

  3. Pingback: open letter to Frank McNulty – coward, weasel, and politician « I am Correct

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