It was just about a month ago that one of us had a great epiphany. I am guessing it was Brian. There were a bunch of us guy buddy’s in the mountains on a ski and poker trip. This particular night we were getting drunk watching the play offs at Old Chicago in the mountains. A Chili’s commercial came on, or some shit like that, that showed good looking well adjusted guys also getting drunk. Just like us… except for one.
That was when Brian noticed our group lacked a black friend. All the commercials had one, and after enough beers he declared… quite heroically… that “we need a black guy.” Said it just like that. Not… why don’t we have any black friends? Or… where is Mark, he’s black? Not even, “we need a black friend” (all of which are true). No, he yelled ‘We need a black guy’. See, to the passerby, that could be misconstrued. It could sound like ‘We need a black guy… to fix this table’. Don’t worry, Louie hushed him post haste.
Proof? Here is a pic from that same night. Post bar, back at the condo >
but that story isn’t why I am here. I had an epiphany watching the great cracker rally that is American Idol. Country Music needs a black superstar. It has been said that Country Music is America’s only true original domestic music. Music, and that shit head line dancing, requires rhythm. Well, according to every black comedian I saw in the 80’s, black folks have that in spades. Get it? Anyhow, how much fun would it be to just ruin everything for white folks? We had tennis, and the Williams sisters jacked that quite nicely. We had golf, and Tiger took that. What have we left? Country music and hockey. I don’t give a shit about either, so I just want to watch the Republicans get all bent when a brother is selling a truck on tv that isn’t an Escalade. Yes, that is a stereotype, you racist.
* oh, and you can’t count Darius Rucker’s crossover appeal. Everyone knows he isn’t black anyway. We learned the hard way during that fucked up Burger King commercial.