Do you know how to make movies? I don’t, but I need someone who does. I have the coolest idea for a film, and I want to share it with you. In advance, you are welcome!
A couple years ago, Bob Dylan was wandering around his old neighborhood in Minnesota, or New Jersey, or something like that. So, check this out. He was walking through this neighborhood by himself. Note that he is old and super ugly. Scary looking ugly. So, a homeowner calls the cops. The cops stop Dylan and ask him what he is doing and who he is. He has no ID, but says he is Bob Dylan. The cops have no idea what Bob Dylan looks like, though. In fact, they may not have known who Bob Dylan was.
At this point, to hear the cop tell it, they thought he was a crazy old person. They asked him where he was staying and he had no idea. This isn’t strange, though. This is what tour managers and such are for. Also, for someone who has been traveling from town to town the last 40 years, I bet every place genuinely looks the same. I mean, he did nothing wrong here. Also, important to note, neither did the cop. She handled it perfectly.
So, you have this creepy old guy dressed like a gay hobo wandering around in the pouring rain with no ID or knowledge of where he was staying at.
So, they had to put him in the cop car and take him to the venue where his road crew had to identify him. I want to watch that entire transaction.
To hear the young New Jersey police officer describe it, the scene was like something out of one of Dylan’s epic songs: It was pouring rain, Dylan was soaked and wandering alone, far from the traveling home of his entourage of tour buses.
When Dylan wandered into the yard of a home that had a “For Sale” sign on it, the home’s occupants became spooked by his appearance and called police with a report of an “eccentric-looking old man” in their yard, Long Branch Police said. One of the occupants even went so far as to follow Dylan as he continued on down the street.
It absolutely fascinates me. I think it would make an incredibly compelling 90 minutes, told completely in real time. It gets even a little weirder. The young cop had radio’d her sergeant to meet her and help to ID this guy. The sarge shows up, looks in the car, and says “that ain’t Bob Dylan”. Poor Bob Dylan, man. Dude could not catch a break. I desperately want to see this in a movie. Will let Gary Busey play Dylan. Who can help me?
* I can say all of this about Bob Dylan because I am a crazy huge serious fan. Read his book, read books about him, have all the great early stuff, some of the great later stuff… even have bootlegs. They are mostly terrible, though. Like Nirvana, Bob Dylan does not thrive in a live environment. I have seen them both!