I am sorry. So Sorry. So very
very fucking sorry, Scotty.
I am sorry you can’t tell time
I am sorry you have NO idea how your pool works
I am sorry you have not taught your 1 year old about personal boundaries
I am sorry you lost your keys and had no spare, like an idiot.
I am sorry that you represent not just 50% of my siblings… but 100% of my successful siblings. This does not bode well for any of us.
* this above is in response to this letter below from my big brother, Scotty. This morning, he writes as follows (ed note: this is a real and unedited conversation from my brother, Scotty. This is all, sadly, true… and not satire.>
You should feel bad…