Friday Fives – food edition

1. What is one food (or meal) you used to hate but now love?

onions

2. If you had to give up one of your favorite foods (or meals) for good, what would it be, and why?

So… what you are asking me to do is give away to you my favorite thing so that you can potentially tell me I can’t have it anymore?  In that case, my favorite food is Haggis.

3. Which food seems like it should be healthy and isn’t, and do you eat it? Why?

soy.  I thought soy was the answer to everything… ink, food, diets, sauce…  but now, apparently, that isn’t the case anymore.  Why?  Well… Monsanto mainly.  Monsanto is an extremely evil and scary company.  They own the genes in all the corn and soy in America.  Google it, seriously.  They also genetically modify it… so you are eating lab food.  Right now in fact.  Food Inc and Fast Food Nation are a couple of movies you can start with.  This is, literally, the biggest threat to the human race currently.  Not terrorism, or overpopulation, or cancer.  Actually, maybe those are all related.  Remember in the X File, how there was a group of shadowy super powerful people making decisions for the whole world?  Remember ‘cancer man’?  This stuff really exists, and Monsanto are these bad guys.

4. If you were an item of food, personified, what would you be and why?

a burger and fries.  Why?  Because EVERYONE loves burgers and fries.  That is just a scientific fact.

5. You’ve seen tomatoes and pies used for this purpose… now think of a more inventive item of food one could throw at someone. What is it and why would throwing it at someone be hilarious?

well, I will tell you what we used.  Oranges.  If you are around an orange tree, and I always was as a kid, they make great projectiles.  They are baseball sized.  They hurt, but they don’t kill.  Just like bottle rockets, which I also strongly endorse shooting at your friends.  Stop being such a pussy!

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