Friday Fives – jaded pirate edition, apparently

1. What was “normal” when you were a kid, that is taboo/banned/shunned/shocking nowadays?

safety stuff.  Seat belts were largely optional.  “be home by dark” being the only policy on what I was doing or where I was.  No helmets or anything like that riding bikes or motorcycles.

2. Have you ever walked out during a job interview? If so, what’s your story?

well, kinda.  Common courtesy says you don’t do these things, and I don’t.  However, I was once interviewing for a position with Dish.  I was working there at the time, and was going in to HQ for a promotion, I think.  Anyhow, Dish wasn’t terribly organized well back then.  The people interviewing me were asking very basic questions.  Concerningly basic.  It came to light after about five or ten minutes that they thought I was interviewing for a minimum wage job.  We all had a good laugh, and I politely took my leave after that.

3. What do you do outside of work that would absolutely shock your co workers if they knew?

I am an amateur cosmetic surgeon

4. Do you wet your toothbrush before brushing your teeth?

of course, yes.  What kind of animal doesn’t?  Same as washing a car.  You don’t just go in and start scrubbing, you will scratch everything up.  Must start with a gentle bath.  duh.

5. If you lost your job aboard a pirate ship, what is plan “B”?

find that asshole captain when he is sleeping and stick a hook in his eye.  Then, take over the ship.  Once out to sea, I will have all the men pledge allegiance to me.  Then, I will kill the first ten I see for backing the captain when he fired me.  I learned this from the movie Hoffa.  He says “when you are the new boss, go in and fire a bunch of people the first day.  That way, those left aren’t wondering if they will be cut, and they will be more loyal for getting to keep their jobs.  Seriously, I will kill you if you try and kick me off this ship.

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