Friday Fives

1. If you could retroactively erase one TV show from the history of entertainment, which one would you choose?

hee haw.  I hated that show, deeply.  So you say “then don’t watch it.  What are you, a cop?”  Here is the problem, when I was a kid, I used to always watch ‘the Greatest American Hero’.  It’s the reason god made tv.  Not sure if it was initially on prime time, but they would run it on Saturday afternoons.  I would watch the show, and somehow fall asleep towards the end (which is NO commentary on the best show ever, just my attention span, I guess).  Anyhow, when I would awake… always… Hee Haw was on.  It was completely lost on me, on every level.  So, I would wake up angry.  I mean… I missed the end of Greatest American Hero, and now I am watching these hillbillies tell puns from a corn field.  Lame.

First, let me tell you I loved that show so much I bought the theme on a 45.  Joey Scarbury’s ‘Believe it or Not’.  Hee Haw, on the other end, led me to come up with the theory of how terrible television survives.  I call this, quite seriously, the ‘Hee Haw Theory’.  I wondered… how could such a terrible show could get enough ratings to sustain itself.  Well, my 8 year old mind came up with the fact that Hee Haw only survived in ratings because America fell asleep watching an actual good show, and so the channel was never changed.  Now, this isn’t too far from the actual truth of how programming works.  You always start with a strong ‘lead in’ to launch a new show.  Remember how NBC ran the world on Thursday nights?  Cheers, Night Court, Seinfeld, Friends… etc.   So, whenever NBC wanted to launch a sit com, they would sammich it in between those winner shows.  same principle!

geesh, I went on quite a tear there, didn’t I?  It is just that I have thought WAY too much about this, and no one has ever asked me.  So, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

2. Are you more like your mother or your father?

interesting question.  I have the charm and genetics of my father, but (hopefully) the good sense of my mom.  You know how people where those ‘what would jesus do’ bracelets?  Well, I think “what would my mom do in this situation?”.  I am lucky enough to still have my mom around, and she remains a great influence in my life.  I got to see her last weekend, in fact.

3. If you could take a year-long vacation, what would you do?

glad you asked.  First off, a month in Alaska.  Then, a month in switzerland… or sweden… the one that is all mountainy and green and pretty.  Maybe it is both.  The rest of the time I would be a beach bum in Mexico.  bon fires and guitar jams.

4. Can you think of a reason not to answer this question?

no

5. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I flew down to Phoenix last weekend to completely surprise the shit out of my mom for her birthday.  It’s not that great.  it is small payment for having the greatest mom in history, but it sprung to mind.  Does that make me a better son than you?  Pretty much.

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