Friday Fives – laundry edition


  • Washing machine: front-loader or top-loader?

why am I reading this as some weird sex question?  It’s a top loader.  Those side loaders are about 8 times the price.  Granted, they are rad.  Supposedly they also less water and get stuff cleaner.  I think the coolest recent advent is those stands they put under the washer and dryer to make them sit at an ergonomic height.

  • Detergent: liquid or powder?

I don’t give a shit.  Currently, it is a liquid.  I just try and use stuff good for the environment (meaning no phosphates) and because we are on a septic I can’t use bleach in anything, anywhere in the house.  What sucks is this no phosphate stuff is nowhere near as good as the stuff with phophates.  No phosphate stuff leaves my glasses all dingy.

  • Rinse cycle: fabric softener or another additive?

no.  You are assuming I care more for my clothes than I do.  most of my clothes are cheap.  The jeans come from costco, and I have an array of tshirts.  mind, I have some really nice dress shirts.  However, I don’t wash those beacuse I can’t fold.  I leave my Polo stuff and my Brooks Brothers stuff to the pros.  Drop them off at the dry cleaner that is totally on the way to work and get them back the next night on the way home.  $1 a shirt is SO worth not laundering and ironing.

Can we talk about ironing for a minute?  I can’t do it.  Not on dress shirts.  All I do when I take a pass on a dress shirt is create new wrinkles underneathe in a new place.  It drives me nuts.  So, I don’t even try anymore.  Not even a little.  I have had folks try and tutor me.  My mother shows me every time I visit, and I just can’t grasp it.

  • And then: clothesline or dryer?

dryer.  I don’t like the stale feeling they get air drying.  Plus, it just isn’t practical.  The sun in Denver is so intense at 6400 feet that the clothes would fade quickly.  And Winter, well that is self explanatory.  Plus, let me tell you about this.  There is nothing on earth better than getting up on a cold morning and throwing your boxers in the dryer for 5 minutes.  The feel of the super soft and warm cotton on my balls is just heaven.

They talk about penis envy that girls have.  I think they have ball envy beacuse they can’t put on warm boxers in the Winter.

  • Do you fold things straight off the line or out of the dryer? What do you iron (or have someone iron for you)?

I take them out of the dryer and throw them on the bed.  I turn the tv on and fold them all right away and then put them away.  I have mad folding skills.

I hear you saying “but Lono, doesn’t you wife do that stuff?”.  Nope.  She dislikes it as much as me.  Trust me, I tried the whole ‘ruin a bra’ trick so the wife would say “you ruined the laundry.  You don’t know what you are doing.  You are an idiot.  I will just do the laundry myself so you don’t ruin my clothes.”   Yup.  Didn’t work.


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