Friday Fives – shoes

How many pairs of shoes do you own
I don’t know.  Across boots and sandals  and all, probably about ten pairs.  However, for the record, I wear maybe 2 pairs 90% of the time.
are they functional, or decorative
all functional.  Well, the ones I wear, are.  I have a few really nice fancy shoes, but never wear them.  The patent leather ones go with nice suits, but make my feet look like little lady feet.  Not cool, bro.  Not cool at all
end of the world scenario, you have to grab 2 pairs of shoes.  What are they?
my doc martens, brown leather that look sharp.  They are super comfy and tough.  Those are my work shoes.  The other would be my chaco sandals.  Nothing better than these shoes.  if you don’t have any, you are missing out of life.
what’s the deal with women and shoes?  Explain
who the hell knows?  Who the hell cares?  A better question might be what is with all these shoe questions.  Who the hell cares?  Ok, since you asked… here comes a rant about women and shoes.  Careful, it is general, stereotypie*… and sexist.  I call it ‘chick math’ or ‘shoe math’.  It goes like this.  When the wifey goes shoe shopping, she comes home with a few pair.  I get that.  She only goes about once a year, so go nuts.  No problems.  The money isn’t an issue, either, because she goes to DSW.
When she gets home, from any shopping, I ask her how much she spent.  Not a big concern, just conversation, really.  She will invariably say “Well, I saved $80.”  “ok, that is nice, but I didn’t ask how much you saved.  I asked how much you spent.”  “Well, the first pair was the full price.  BUT… the second pair were 50% off, and I got this cute third pair from clearance.  Basically, the third pair was pretty much free, and with these deals I couldn’t afford not to by the second pair.  Technically, we made money on this transaction by how much money I saved”.  It could be hours before I get that she spent about $120 for 3 pairs, which is fine and I don’t care.  It just amuses me and frustrates me when she does the rationalizing math.

do you have any shoe wearing rules?

not really.  I keep the dress shoes (the doc martens) clean and polished at all times.  However, I am cheating when I do this.  I give them a proper wax and shine maybe once a month.  however, almost daily I hit them with this stuff.  This stuff is amazing.  It costs about $6.  I keep it in my desk at work.  In 30 seconds, I can make my shoes looks brilliantly and recently shined.  I can’t say enough cool things about this product.  It is simple, cheap, and convinces people I am a decent dresser.

Speaking of shoe wearing rules, I had a shoe guy once tell me to never wear a pair of leather shoes 2 days in a row.  He explained they need to breathe and dry.  I totally get that and understand.  Heck, I agree.  However, it is SO incredibly rare for me to find comfortable shoes that I wear my docs every single day.  It is just a great shoe.

*stereotypie – is this a word?  Until about 30 minutes ago, the answer was no.  However, the second I hit publish, it becomes a word.  Why?  Well, I am a master wordsmith, and I have a degree in literature.  So, if anyone is qualified to make up words, it is me.  You are welcome, America.

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