1. Is it pretentious to order food with the correct accent/ pronunciation ?
no, I think it is respectful. Meaning, I love gyros. At no time, even jokingly, do I say ‘jiy-row’. No, it is ‘year-oh’. now, that is when i know how to pronounce something properly, I won’t pretend to. I’ll go phonetic. does that answer your question? this is a weird question. I would fire my editor if I paid him… or he existed. I assure, though, I did not choose this question. In fact, I almost never chose the questions. They are fed to me. So, when I say something like ‘that is a dumb question’… that is genuine. I don’t like the question. But, I don’t shirk it. that is the difference between ol’ Lono and you. I stand up to these stupid ass questions for you, the reader. And when I say reader, I mean that in its singularity.
2. What class would you make mandatory to complete in school
well, it wouldn’t be square dancing. Yes, I was taught square dancing in the Phoenix public schools. I have no idea if they still do this, but I am not that old. What I would teach more of is what I frankly hated – english and communications. these two are my passions, but I hated them when I was young. I thought it was just busy work, and didn’t realize how critical the ability to communicate well is. To speak well is to get a good job, bed girls, and have great times with weird and interesting people. I would also put speech classes in schools. I never had to do any speech stuff until college, and I was terrified. Studies say people are more afraid of public speaking than death. It felt like it when I took a speech class in college. So, I would integrate this stuff earlier.
Everyone deserves the opportunity to be nearly as interesting as ol’ Lono. To do that, you need mad communications skills, you cracker ass crackers! Sorry, just watched Chris Rock and I love that phrase. Cracker-ass Crackah!
3. If you came with a warning label, what would it read?
don’t feed the bear
4. What movie deserves a sequel but never got one?
summer school. No, wait… gotcha. Wait… how about the Princess Bride?
5. If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them
the lack of progress social and technology wise. Sorry, no flying cars or meals in a pill. sorry, we are still afraid of blacks and gays. Sorry, the Republicans are still meanies and the Democrats are still pussies. Of course, we do go to space and back. The back piece is the big part. Anyone can go to space, even you. It is the coming back alive part that is truly spectacular… and took a lot of lives and monkeys to figure that one out.