Friday Fives – Twilight edition

Five questions for Twilight author Stephenie Meyer from Time Magazine:

1.  In addition to being the author of The Host, you’re also  producer on the movie. How much creative input did you get?

not as much as you would think.  Having never read the books, or seen the movies, I was given an insulting amount of input.  They allowed me to buy them coffee, that was about it.  This is a sore subject, and I would thank you not to bring it up again.

2. You’ve written a lot about young people. What draw you to them as characters?

tight, firm buttocks and breasts.  Am I not a man?

3.  How to you think Melanie holds up as a role model?

Melanie?  My next door neighbor when I was 9?  She was a bitch.  I have nothing nice to say about her.  Again, sensitive topic.  Pretty sure she killed my lizard.  Now, if this ‘Melanie’ is some character from your gay vampire books, I can only assume she is also a bitch.

4. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

I think my answer to #2 precludes that.  Frankly, the whole ruse of my writing these movies was to watch naughty little 14 year old girls.  Am I a monster?  No sir.  I am no more monster than I am Stephanie Meyer.

5. You’ve described being a working mom as a delicate balance. How do you and your husband divide the work at home?

work?  Do you have any idea how rich I am?  My servants have servants.  I may not write great literature, but I negotiated the shit out of that book option.  My coked up hookers have coked up hookers doing their hooking for them.

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