The Bundle scam

America, it’s pretty much common knowledge that I am your greatest advocate.  I am here to protect you from both they, and them.  So, what are the pentaveret up today these days?  They are scamming you into more shit than you need.

Last week or so, I went to buy the Hobbit.  I want it on blu ray, of course.  All they had was a bundle of 3 movies.  the standard definition, a ‘digital copy’, and the blu ray.  The cost was $30.  Hey, man, I just want the blu ray.  One disc, $15.  Problem is, it doesn’t exist.  If you want the Hobbit, or many new movies, you have to buy this bundle BS.  Needless to say, it pisses me off.  See, it is wasteful.  Also, why in the the world would I want a standard definition copy?  If I wanted it, I would buy it.  They sell the standard def one, and it is unbundled.  So, even if I did want the standard def and the blu ray, I could buy them separate and still have it be cheaper than the bundle.

I am going to go ahead and say anytime you hear the word ‘bundle’, you are getting fucked.  It means they are cramming something in there you don’t want or need under the guise of giving you a better deal.  See, the scam with the blu ray is they imply “dude, these movies should be at least $15 a piece.  You are getting all three, a value of $45… for only $30.  Really, we are doing you a favor, you small minded puppet.”  The truth, though, is all I want is a $15 blu ray copy.  The reason they ‘bundle’ is that something in there has little to no value.  If it did, they would sell it, not ‘bundle’ it. That is it, end of transaction. A long time ago, they used to bundle cars!  If you bought a a real car, they would give you another one free.  Obviously, you get what you pay for.  The great joke used to be “why do Yugos have rear window defroster?  So your hands stay warm when you are pushing it”

The cable companies LOVE this bullshit.  When I moved, I called to get internet.  They told me I could save a fortune by bundling with my TV and my landline then Internet is only $20 unlimited when you bundle.  Cool!  I am in.  Get me Direct TV and high speed internet.  That is all.  I don’t want or use a landline.  Sorry, fatty.  No deal!  To get the internet you had to buy a goddamn landline.  So, I have one.  I have no idea what the phone number is.  “Hey, we got you the Starz bundle!”  What is that?  “well, it is all 6 Starz channels, and then about 36 channels of shit you don’t need.”  I don’t need 5 jesus channels or 10 shopping channels.  $40 a month, huh?  How about this, dump all that other crap and just sell me Starz.  We’ll call it good at $30?  Nope.  No can do.  You have to buy the 13 different Ted Turner channels that just run Seinfeld.  Seinfeld is great, but I don’t need it on every channel.

Your warning is this, dear reader; anytime you see the term ‘bundle’ in marketing please look closely.  They are pushing goods and services on you that you neither want, nor need.

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