shoot paint out your eyes

a long time ago, I wrote about eye piercing.  Long time ago.  Ten years ago.  You can read about it here.  What I told you then I will tell you again.  You should do it.  Seriously.  Pierce your eyes.  I got your back on this one.

Sadly, this didn’t catch on like I had hoped.  Boy, talk about social darwinism, willfully sticking chunks of metal into your eye is pretty close to the top.  As you can imagine, I am not here to tell you about that.  Nope.  That is so ten years ago.  Now, people are painting with their eyes.  This guy, Leandro Granato is painting with his eyes.  This is not an illusion.  He takes the paint up his nose and shoots it out his eyes.

Is this dangerous?  Nope, not even a little.  This guy is alive, and well.  This guy is a star!  This guy is on my blog, which is pretty much the ultimate, if we can be frank.  I want you safe, and I want you happy.  Most importantly, I want you to return.  Why would I risk losing readership to stupid stunts?  If you lose your eyesight, you can’t come back and agree with me.  Trust me, I need you to agree with me.

We’ve got roughly ten years before some dipshit pulls this again.  I am counting on that person being you.

Why do I write?  Because you should to this, too.  Being ‘Correct’, I bear some weight and responsibility.  I am literally responsible for you.  Up above, I call myself ‘the supreme court of public opinion.’  This means, quite frankly, you should do what I tell you.  You are reading this, which makes me the media.  I want you to first pierce your eyeball, and then shoot paint out your eye.  If it doesn’t work at first, put paint in your eye.  I dare you to this this.

Are you going to spend your life reading about people?  Am I going to spend my life just writing about these people?  Nope.  Yolo, baby.  seize the day.  Let’s be heroes.  You go first!

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