That’s not a feud, man

Rosie Perez finally talks publicly about her feud with Jennifer Lopez.

America,  I am the last person on earth to defend J Lo.  I don’t like her.  She is a mean person,  and somehow revels in that behavior.  They say she is a ‘diva’.  I think she is a bitch.  She is someone who would be mean to the janitor, I’ll bet my life on it.  So, I am not thrilled to be defending J Lo.

Today, Rosie Perez  decided to go ‘public’ with her Jennifer Lopez ‘Feud’.  I can’t support Rosie because of her voice.  I literally hate her because of her voice.  I once walked out of a movie theater because I couldn’t take her voice anymore.  The movie was ‘Fearless‘, and I still want to know how it ended.  I can’t sit through it,  though.  Ok, focus… the feud. This was a rude voice mail left 20 years ago.  I don’t think that makes it a feud.  I think it makes Rosie an attention whore who probably has a book coming out.

“I’d thought we were cool. I called her up. She wouldn’t pick up. Frustrated, I left her an irate message on her answering machine. Instead of calling me back and hashing it out like friends do, she went on a major talk show and reiterated my lashing.”

See, for there to be a ‘feud’, the people involved have to be somewhat equal of status.

Like, why don’t I just come out and say I am feuding with Paul McCartney, or Africa?

Also, Rosie, your target is too obtuse.  J Lo is an entity larger than life.  It’s like when GW Bush started the ‘war on terror’.  That is SO vague.  How about a war on blue?  Or, a war on vowels?  I want specifics, man, so I can tell if we are making progress.  I think that is exactly why GW was so vague about his goals.

Then, Rosie gets all victimy and drops this gem

“We ladies of color all know how hard it is for us in the entertainment business,” she wrote in the book

.So, J Lo figured out twenty years earlier than the rest of us that you are a no talent ass clown, Rosie?  No one cares.  No one cared then, and no one cares now.  Why don’t I hook you up with Scott Norwood?  I am still waiting for his apology.  Maybe you two could have a press conference together.   Ay, pobrecita!

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