1. If you were a pirate what would be the name of your pirate ship?
the Assman
2. Now that we are supposed to change our passwords, what are you changing yours to?
omg, this 12 letter protocol is KILLING me. Obviously, for reasons of corporate security and Sarbanes Oxley…. I can only give you a hint. It looks like this “12 letters? then special characters? What the fuck? Maybe if the NSA tried this we wouldn’t have lost EVERY secret this country to a guy who a flash drive”. that may be more than 12 letters, but you get idea ****
3. What thing “just ain’t the same anymore?”
TV. I am kinda sad we have lost the commonalities. Like, everyone over 40 knows different strokes. Why? Because with only 3 channels we had NO choice. Same with music. We all knew the same songs because had NO choice.
4. What is something that you’re embarrassingly bad at?
singing
5. What is your best potential band name?
no comment. I accidentally named my own band name, and then it got voted in while I was gone. The great Dave Barry has a great bit on this, and has been doing it for 30 or 40 years. Listen, there is a pretty funny story behind the whole thing. I won’t go into it now, but ask me over a beer or camping and I’ll tell the tale.
**** can we talk about this for a second? This isn’t about whether or not I am pro Snowden or not. This isn’t about if he is a villain or a hero. This is about a contractor stole everything the govt has and put it on a flash drive. What kind of security is running the earth, here? I can’t even copy a picture at work onto my personal flash drive at work because of encryption. But, if you want you to know where every hidden missile silo is in America… or what dictators we kill…. just let in a contractor with a flash drive. Why the fuck do we have contractors handling America’s most sensitive information? Why isn’t it encrypted? Why do we have flash drives on our govt computers? Did you know, for example that govt employees can’t have cell phones with cameras on them? Lastly, how was this guy not strip searched like 30 times before leaving? Listen, when I worked at Jack in the Box 30 years ago we had to be searched by the manager every night before we left. But… I guess if you are the NSA…. here… go ahead and carry about these pizza boxes that sure look like a lot of laptops.
I am Correct 
I don’t think the manager was searching you for Super Tacos, I just think he liked you!
Jack-n-the-box… I remember you owned pants with fake-pockets. Whenever I go into a fast food restaurant… I check to see who has real pockets and fake pockets. Needless to say… I’ve been to some really skanky strip clubs in my day.
James, that was very true. Their security was even more impressive. I worked the register. So, at the end of each night I had to count up every penny to my manager to see if it matched the receipts. I had to count it twice, every night (thousands of dollars… in 1s. We didn’t have cash machines. Sometimes, to keep us honest, she would say “your drawer is $120 over, check again”. The trick being, she wants to know if I am going to pocket the $125 and then say “Yup, I fixed it”… which is NEVER did.
So, 26 years ago, Jack in the Box and more technology, fraud prevention, and horse sense than the people in charge of hiding info from us. Did you click those links? They are hilarious, if not scary. one guy, who was a Fed Govt employee, told his bosses he was a part time spy. He would disappear for months (on secret missions, he told them) and them drew a paycheck the whole time. THEN… got same employer o buy him first class tickets around the world for his spy job. even a genius writer like me couldn’t come up with that shit.
OR… the govt employee in charge of keeping all of our war secrets got busted having an affair by not understanding gmail.
or the guy who took a govt computer and said it was stolen. It was a laptop, with of course TONS of unsecure docs on it. Well, he then put it online to sell. The Feds tracked it by the serial number. same guy, same laptop. Dude didn’t even have the sense to delete the data.