1. What did you lose the genetic lottery on?
omg, you name it. Seriously, I am a compilation of shitty genetics. No, a greatest hits. I am a recessive gene party, and everyone’s invited. left-handed, short, near-sighted, flat-footed, blue-eyed, balding. If Mendel could see me he would cock punch me while Darwin held me town to make sure I don’t reproduce.
2. On the contrary, what did you win in the genetic lottery?
well, given all things mentioned… I fared ok. I am not bad-looking, above average intelligence, a stunning Napoleon complex, and a big… well… you know. I ain’t gonna say it, though. Trying to class the joint up, when I can.
3. If you could click your fingers and instantly become the best in the world at one thing, what thing would you choose?
persuasiveness. You didn’t see that coming, did you? With that, I could do everything else.
4. If there was a global contest, what would you be judged as the worst at?
ability to ‘let it go, man’. However, I am working on that every day. I remind myself to be Buddhist, and not get bogged down by attachment to issues and problems.
5. What have you been blamed for that you never did?
couple things. When I was 16, I worked at Jack in the Box. I worked the register, which meant counting the till every night and reporting the take. This was always compared by the manager to the register. Generally, the goal was to be no more than a few bucks off. One night, I came in $60 short. This means, for all practical purposes, that I took the money. The evidence is there. They wrote up me up for it. But I never took the money.
the other thing was tagging the school. I was there, but did not participate. Oh, there are plenty of horrible things I have done. We don’t need to talk about those. This is just stuff I didn’t do. I swear to Jerry Garcia I didn’t do it.
I always described myself as a ‘cesspool of resessive genes’… Thank god I’m not left handed tho. That would’ve been my breaking point.