Friday Fives – quotes and flying and counterfeit knock off edition

 

1.  What’s something you’re pretty sure has only happened to you?

that is the most interesting question we may have ever had here.  I can’t think of an equally impressive answer, though.  How about a conversation with the great Dave Barry.  He was looking at a picture of my dogs on my cell phone (we were taking selfies together) and he said “Ah, I see you have two dogs.  The dog you like, and a small back up emergency dog.”  That was pretty great.

2.  What is one of your favorite quotes?

oh, this I could do all day, being a lit guy.  We have to narrow this down, or I could spend all day firing quotes.  So, let’s limit it to dogs.  I’ll narrow it down to two.

“if there are no dogs in heaven, when I die, I want to go where they went” – Will Rogers

“Liberals treat dogs like people.  Conservatives treat people like dogs” – unknown, seen on a beer cooler

3.  What are some interesting things most people wouldn’t know about [hit the random article in wikipedia and please share the first sentence? 

Our Lady of the Rockies is a 90-foot (27 m) statue, dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, that sits atop the Continental Divide overlooking Butte, Montana. It is the second tallest statue in the United States after The Statue of Liberty.

Oh, this?  Well, it isn’t exactly common knowledge, but she is constructed entirely of bubble gum.  True story.  Also, and you will have to look closely for this; she was modeled after Anne Hathaway.  Listen, I couldn’t make this stuff up.  You can’t get published on the internet withe about rigorous fact checking.  It’s why I am so much better than you.  If they just let anyone throw shit up on the web, even you would have a web site.

4.  What knock off is better than the real thing?

NOT saran warp. I know that much.  NEVER go generic with Saran Wrap.  ever.  seriously.  I know that isn’t really answering the question.  Maybe I’ll come back to this.

5.  What did you knock until you tried it?

almost everything.  I am not as open minded as I should be, about anything.  Do you know how epoxies work?  There is always two ingredients.  The stuff (or… goop if you want to be technical) and the other part is a catalyst.  The catalyst, as the word implies, makes all the magic happen.  They are kept in separate tubes, and when you add them together, it hardens.  Stay with me here.  I know we are out on a limb tangentially.

Somewhere around my early 20’s, that catalyst was poured and I hardened.  Most of the music, people, books, etc that I prefer haven’t really changed in 20 years.  Musically, I am still listening to the same stuff, for the most part.  Metallica, Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, and Pearl Jam.  Rise and repeat.

Ok, I was stalling, I admit it.  I just thought of something; flying across the ocean.  The first time I flew to Europe, I was a little freaked out.  Now, I LOVE to fly.  But… flying across the ocean at 700 mph did not excite me.  There is no place for an emergency landing.  Plus, spending 8 hours locked into a small metal tube seemed daunting.  THEN… they tell you about the ‘water landings’… as in ‘in the event of a water landing… bla bla bla’.  If you hit the ice Atlantic ocean at 700 mph… that isn’t so much a ‘landing’.

BUT… it was an amazing flight.  We took British Air.  They are as impressive and sweet and helpful in the air as they are as difficult and cunty* the ground.  Never once had a good experience with their customer service.  In the air, though, they were the bomb!  They gave everyone on the plane a little goody bag as we taxied.  Headphones, and nice ones at that.  Plus, slipper-socks, a pillow, a sleeping eye cover mask thingy, and some wet wipes.  Also, they fed us great food.  I had a curry chicken salad that changed my life.  And… on the 777, you each get your own tv in front of you.  They had tons of great movies, and all new releases.  The movies we watched weren’t even out on video yet.

* I can say ‘cunty’ here because we are talking about the Brits.  That word is throw easily around over there.  It has nowhere near the impact there that it does here.  Here, I don’t say the word, ever.  Not even alone.  It’s like the ‘n’ word.  You just don’t use it… ever.

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