- What is the most useless weapon you can think of to bring to a fight?
Pudding. Don’t ask me why, but this is more than theory. Do NOT.
- What’s the most you’ve ever cried over a FICTIONAL event or person? And why?
Every time I watch the original Like Water for Chocolate movie. Bertita, you have to make them with love. That, my sister, is the difference. I haven’t seen it in 20 years because if I watched it now I would literally cry myself to death. It is that wonderful and beautiful and perfect of a story and a film
- What everyday thing would scare the SHIT out of us if we’d never seen it before?
The phone. Having worked in the cell phone business for a LONG time, I would like to go back to… say… Edison. Hold up my cell phone and say “this device allows me to talk to anyone in the world in real time. It allows me to access and play every recording ever made. I stream moving pictures through it, as well it is also takes moving pictures AND transmits them. It also has real time access to every great library and book ever recorded. Wanna know what a baboon weighs? Gimme 30 seconds and I will tell you.
THEN… I wouldn’t let him touch it or take it apart or even use it. I would just demo it for him and say “I am from the future. This is what is there. Get to work on it, fatty!” and then disappear in a poof of poofiness.
Oh, and this. Here is something else that would scare the shit out of you if you had never seen it. A pudding fight.
- What is one article of clothing someone can wear that instantly makes you dislike them?
Ed hardy tshirts. It says ‘date rape’, but still somehow also manages to say ‘date rape’ at the same time. Pretty sure we can blame John Gosselin for a lot of this. He hasn’t done anything wrong, except bad taste in clothes and women, technically. I mean… can we talk about this for a second? Kate Gosselin seems like one of the meanest and most unpleasant women alive. So, I lose all respect for anyone who could find her less than the worst person alive. Geesh, that just went off the rails. I apologize. Not to the Gosselins, mind you… but to you for wasting 2 minutes on that rant. I guess in my mind, the terms: John Gosselin, Ed Hardy, and Date Rape are completely interchangeable.
- What memory from your childhood makes you think “wow we were poor”?
These tongs. Yes, I know that they were all we had, but I now look back at these tongs (and these can openers) and think ‘child abuse’! In fact, scratch that last comment about showing Edison the mobile phone. Lemme go back 40 years and show someone these restaurant tongs. Here, make these… SOON. Pretty please.