NFL – boo fucking hoo

If you know me, you know I LOVE football. If you know me, I HATE the NFL corporation. Why? Well, today they gave me a perfectly good example as to why Roger Goodell is the devil.

It looks like the NFL is broke, and we ALL need to help out.  I mean, why else would all of the following befall these saints?

You may know that the NFL hid concussions and those repercussions for years, resulting in many ex-players dead. You may know they got sued for anti-trust in their marketing strategies. You may know they charged New Jersey residents $25,000 just for rights to buy season tickets in the new stadium. If you paid the $25,000, that didn’t actually buy you a single season ticket. You may know that the NFL won’t allow a local game to be broadcast unless the stadium is sold out beforehand.

You may know they got sued by cheerleaders for unfair labor practices. They lost that case, and it resulted in them (the NFL) having to pay minimum wage to the cheerleaders.  Plus, there was the strike two years ago.  The NFL is broke people, goddamnit why can’t you see that?  Why else would they treat consumers and players like this?

You may know that, though they made 8 BILLION last year, they do not pay a penny of taxes. They are listed, quite amusingly, as a 501C charity. Like your local dog shelter.  Then, this report from Forbes says the average NFL team is worth 1.3 BILLION.  Ok, I can’t wrap my head around a figure like that.  Lemme grab my trusty calculator and put in 1.3 BILLION times 32 teams.  It’s 32, right?  Ok, and the answer on my calculator says ‘holy fuck that is a lot of money, bro’ and then it just exploded like mission impossible mission giver thingy.

That isn’t why I write today. That stuff is all in the past. Today, I learned that the NFL wants bands to pay them to play the superbowl. Yes, the NFL wants to charge bands to play the superbowl. The NFL is soliciting Katy Perry and Coldplay to ‘pay to play’. The way the NFL sees it, they are giving you a boost in your career. You owe them. If it weren’t for the NFL, you wouldn’t have even heard of these bands. Oh wait, you already know who they are? They are already successful? Well, did they make 8 Billion last year? Exactly.

When reaching out to artists, league representatives asked some acts if they would exchange a headlining slot for a portion of their post-Super Bowl tour earnings, or make another type of financial contribution to the NFL. Sources told the Journal that the suggestion, perhaps unsurprisingly, “got a chilly reception from the candidates’ representatives.”

Yes, chilly sounds appropriate. The NFL made 8 BILLION last year, they will charge a million and a half during the game to run a commercial… and they are not paying a penny in taxes. Boo fucking hoo. This is like C Montgomery Burns asking you for a fiver.  They made 8 Billion, Goodell was paid 32 million last year, and they are being sued just to provide minimum wage?  They don’t pay a penny in taxes?  Oh yeah, it’s quite the opposite.  US taxpayers bought all their stadiums.

It is such a painful dichotomy to love football and hate the NFL so much. It’s similar to my relationship with Ticketbastard and live rock music. I am so upset with Ticketbastard charging 150% service fees that I don’t even go to national concerts anymore. Einstein said something to the effect of ‘evil succeeds when good men to do nothing’. So, I don’t give them money… either of them. Neither should you. That is, until they get together with Ticketbastard to block out the sun.

* full disclosure, I did just buy a Manning Broncos jersey last year, but it was pirated.  🙂  Can’t afford the $150 it costs to buy a proper licensed one.  Wanna make a difference?  Sign this!

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