Going to a ‘party school’ is the WORST place to party, dumbass

This month, Playboy released their ‘top party schools’. Can I tell you something? You do NOT want to go to a ‘top party school’. ESPECIALLY if you want to party. It is the worst idea possible for an education. Remember, and education is why you are there. Here is why, if you want to party, you should NOT go to a ‘party school’. First reason – Administrators really, really don’t like being on this list. They want to get off that list. In fact, they are being told by their board of directors if they show up on that list again they are all fired. These folks are going to be cracking down on partying. That school’s new goal is to NOT be a party school anymore. Their job is to bust your underage drunk ass. You won’t get a warning, either. They have to show the board of directors that they are affecting positive change. Trust me, this is how the grown up world works. This will be a bad school to party at.

What, then, will be a good college to party? Every goddamn college on Earth. Anytime you put 20,000 19 year olds together – who are living away from home for the first time – there will be partying. You could go to ‘no alcohol and mandatory abstinence university’ and you will still get drunk and laid, nightly. In fact, that might be the best place to get drunk and laid. The administrators actually think you are in the library studying like you told your parents. Everyone at that school kinda got forced to go their by their parents. They are peak rebellion mode.

Second reason – When you get out into the world, your college degree is your business card. It will be very helpful to get jobs and even more so for promotions. That is, unless, your college is known as the ‘party college’. Sure, you went to college to spend 5 years getting drunk and laid. You know that, I know that. They won’t necessarily know that… as long as you didn’t choose a ‘party school’, you dumbass. In closing, if you are getting your academic advice from Playboy, you are a dumbass.

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