the ‘war on Christmas’ is total nonsense

I love Christmas, and I love you.  But, we need to clear some stuff up. It’s December again, and I got to hear about the ‘War on Christmas’ again this week.  I Have to address it, because the whole thing drives me nuts.  It is a manufactured jive from the right.  Specifically, this is Fox news jive.  It is created to feed the Republican agenda.  Now, let’s examine what the hell I am talking about.  The ‘war on Christmas’ is bullshit.  It’s a myth the GOP is willing into reality, and it’s mean spirited.

The GOP is trying to destroy Christmas, so they can blame it on the left.

There are two pieces to my argument:

1)    There is no ‘war on Christmas’

2)    If that is true… what’s the motive for that narrative?

There is no war on Christmas.  Christmas is not a religious holiday.  Personally, I don’t feel it was ever a religious holiday.  You can call it a marketing holiday, or a Winter Solstice holiday.  You can call it the birth of Santa Clause.  It really isn’t religious, though, and Jesus was born in the Spring. Christmas is a cultural holiday.  Example, I am an atheist, and I celebrate the crap out of Christmas.

What really gets my goat lamb is the persecution angle.  That Christians and Christian voices are being silenced and oppressed.

First off, 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christians.

Eighty Percent.  That is no minority, even by Karl Rove math.  Not even a tiny bit.  Remember how we supposedly left England for freedom of religion?  Remember how that was in our constitution?  Yet, your money says “in god we trust”, in court your swear on a bible, and in school you pledge allegiance to god and state.  Schools, businesses, and governments are all closed on December 25th.   The Christians have won, on every level.  Fine.  Good for them.  It doesn’t bother me at all, until… they say ‘woe is we, for we have no voice. We are persecuted in American culture.’  This is incorrect.  In fact, you have the ONLY voice in American society.  80% is more than a majority, it’s a mandate!

Full disclosure, I was raised Catholic and am now an atheist.  This is why I feel I have the right to talk on this.  I have no angst towards religion, or religious people.  I don’t care one way or the other.  Like olives on your pizza, or god in your heart?  Fine.  Both have the exact same impact on me. Just order me half, because I don’t much believe in olives.  See what I did with that?   That is why I make the big bucks.  I think religion is great if it is what keeps you from being an arsonist.  Me?  I don’t need heaven or hell to goad me into the right decisions.  I simply do the right thing regardless.  In that way, I am actually more moral than you.

You can believe whatever you want, it isn’t my business. As Jesus himself said, regarding free will – “whatevs, you guys”.   That is what makes America rad.  Adam Carolla said it nicely – “religion is like your genitals.  You shouldn’t show it in public, or cram it down kids’ throats.”

I love Christmas.  Look at my email sig file this time of year.  If you are lucky enough to get an email from me, you will see my Christmas holly wreath thingy I put on there every year. I celebrate it with gusto.  I have a Christmas tree, Christmas lights, and a Christmas bear on my truck.  Do you have a Christmas bear on your truck?  It is common knowledge, if you look at the Gnostic texts, that Jesus drove a pick up truck.  However, big Bible and big Sedan have been selling you a pack of lies.

The city and state building here in Denver says “Merry Christmas” across the top.  Guess what; that was paid for by my atheist tax dollars.  The very dollars that say ‘in god we trust’.  I think it’s great, and happy to contribute.  it doesn’t bother me a bit.  ***** tangent alert see below *****

One might think a faux intellectual and avid atheist such as myself would be the head of an anti-Christmas movement.

Nope, I am not here to be that guy.  You are welcome to believe in aliens hiding in ancient volcanoes who travel in space ships disguised as jumbo jets… and these aliens put negative thoughts in your head.  It’s like a super duper high maintenance Buddhism on mushrooms.

Wrong.  I love Christmas, and so do you.  Stop saying people are messing with it… or it will be a real thing on day.  Think of it like this.  Someone says “the bank is almost broke, get your money out NOW”.  Well, the bank wasn’t almost broke at all.  That was just a kid who get fired for taking selfies in the vault a la Scrooge McDuck.  However, now the bank is broke… because everyone came for their money.  Now the kid, Toby, gets to say “see, I told you guys so”.  So, that closes part 1 > there is no war on Christmas!

Part 2 > so if there is no such thing as the “War on Christmas”, why would someone say that?  Who benefits?

This is a ‘ false flag’ operation.  The premise is if you don’t vote in the GOP for everything, your next December 25th will be a Kwanza party.  Oh, and on Dec 26th, you have to get gay married.

Lastly, shut the fuck up about the ‘liberal media’, and the ‘media elite’.  Fox news has a larger market share than any other independent news source.  So, the media is not liberal.  On radio, Rush Limbaugh has between 15 and 20 million listeners every day.  There is no one else in any media outlet who has numbers even close to that.  So, why the fear?  Well, admittedly, not everyone is stoked about a country who tolerates gays and Mexicans and potheads and blacks. Where I come from, we call them ‘grandparents’.

There is no war on Christmas

It’s a false flag operation to get you to vote conservative

The media is neither liberal nor elite

Good liberals generally don’t have dick for power, we are too damn nice to succeed proper.

***** ok, about that taxes and holiday thing.  I do have one thing that SUPER pisses me off.  When I see cops guiding traffic for churches.  Not only does my tax dollar not represent the Christian majority… churches DO NOT pay taxes.  I don’t even think they should get to use the police or fire department at all.  Those things are expensive, and you don’t want to contribute.  So, when I see them having their own personal police force for the church… that just pisses me off beyond belief.  I wrote our mayor and town council and begged them to make the churches pay for that shit.


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