Why Congress can’t, and won’t, help you. It’s not about corporate money, either.

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Why your Congressman 1) can not help you, and 2) why they will not help you

Quick tease – they are sadly unrelated, and don’t have as much with corporate greed as you would think.

Your Congressperson can not help you because the risk is too big. See, you are not his/her boss. It’s cute you thought you were. Big evil corporate America isn’t their boss, either. Their boss is the ‘National Committee’. If you are a Dem, it’s the DNC… the Democratic National Committee. You can fill in the blank for what RNC stands for. They are ultimately in charge at the end of the day. I will use the DNC just for illustrative purposes, and simplicity, but in this aspect, the parties are identical and interchangeable. The DNC handles the money, and divies it out. The next most important thing they do is hand out offices/assignments/ chair positions.

Every decent Congressman (again, being generic here, not sexist) has a chair on a committee. Some are super high profile, like ‘Senate Arms Committee’ and cool stuff like that. Those are the guys who get to drive tanks and watch demo’s of hellfire missiles. Those assignments are plum, as they also get sweet sweet ‘junkets’. That is when Lockheed Martin flies you and your staff and your family to a 5 star hotel in Hawaii for 2 weeks in the summer. You aren’t gonna get that assignment your freshman year, and you will NEVER get that post if you cross the DNC. At all times, you are to please the DNC. They decide, on every level, who gets re-elected. They handle moving soft money around, buying tv spots, getting photo ops with the President… stuff like that. That is the visibility that gets you re-elected, not your stupid positions on local issues (we’ll get to that in the next part). You must keep them happy, or you will get assigned to the worm dung renewable resource committee.

How do you keep your job? How do you keep the DNC happy? Simple, you vote along party lines at ALL TIMES. Like the mafia movies ‘you don’t go against the family, EVER’. What does that mean to you? It means every time any congressperson or senator talks about ‘bi-partisan’ and ‘reaching across the aisle’ they are fucking lying. If they ever really worked with someone of the other party, they would be ostracized incredibly fast. Imagine if you saw a photo on the cover National Inquirer showing the local manager of Pepsi and Coke having lunch together. That is NEVER a good sign. If they meet, it is NEVER to work on serving America’s thirst needs. How do you think their bosses feel? “sharing best practices”? Nope, you are SO fired. If you were GOP, you could put up a bill called ‘puppies sure are great, aren’t they?’. Not one single Dem would vote for it.

THIS is why the only vote along party lines and don’t do a goddamn thing for you. If they cross their DNC overlords, they are a one termer at best.

That was why they can’t help you. See, it wasn’t necessarily tied to corporate overlords. Here is why they will not help you… even if they could.

You hate Congress, don’t you! You think they are do nothing deadbeats and fat cats draining America of its greatness by the minute. It’s true. It is goddamn true, every word of it. So, why don’t they change? Because no matter what they do, you will re-elect them. During the 2012 election cycle (where President Obama was re-elected), Congress may have been at the biggest public opinion low in history. The numbers of Americans who thought their congressperson was a do nothing piece of shit finally hit the 90s.   As in 92% of Americans are displeased with Congress. That batch of asshats was also celebrated as the ‘do nothing congress’, because they had also passed the least amount of legislation in like 100 years.

How do they get away with it? Because you assholes re-elected every goddamn one of them. I think in that 2012 election cycle, 87% were re-elected. YOU CAUSED THIS! Why do you keep re-electing these assholes, that you bitch about every single day. I’ll tell you why. I have this theory that you (and every other American) thinks everyone in Congress is a criminal dipshit… except your guy. I mean, what else explains it? This means – your congressman knows no matter what he does, you will re-elect him. Here is the analogy I love to make. It assumes you know something about training dogs. Imagine you have a dog who gets on the counter, and you hate that. Every time the dog jumps on the counter, you softly suggest ‘no’ and then hand feed the dog bacon. How come the dog never learns? Get it? You make talk shit all the day long, and send letters, and organize… and you are still gonna vote for him, aren’t you? “He seems like a decent guy, it’s the others I don’t trust”. What you have to do, if you really love America, is kick every one of them out of office. It’s not that easy, either. It means you need to have the conviction to kick your party out of office, and let the dreaded other party take the seat.

Every single one of these assholes should be kicked out after 2 years. Lemme tell you what; the first 2 elections you do that (and the House is only a 2 year term) they will listen and things will change.

Again, this has surprisingly little to do with corporations running the world. Don’t worry, they do still run everything. Like I said, though, it isn’t why your govt 1) can’t help you, and 2) won’t help you.

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