Friday Fives – Stormin’ Norma edition


What’s something that got old REALLY fast?

Beards. All my life I have wanted to grow a beard. I felt like it was a manly right of passage (and it is). I could not grow a decent beard for a LONG time. I wasn’t able to pull one off until about 40. This should be a satisfying time in my life, right? NO. We have reached peak beard. They are overexposed and some kind of hipster indicator. They are played out, and you have all ruined them. I grew my hair very long when I was young, because it was uncommon for boys to have long hair. It was unsettling for people to be around. Same with when I shaved my head (even more so). Ask me sometime about delivering Chinese food to the cancer ward for a great and weird story about having a clean shaved head.

I am waiting for beards to be uncool, so I can go back to being ruggedly individualistic. HEY… stop tittering. It could happen, right?

What’s your favorite recipe that takes less than 15 minutes to prepare?

Rice-aroni Spanish rice, a can of chopped tomatoes that are hot and spicy, and a pound of ground beef. Super tasty, nearly idiot proof, and done in about 30 minutes start to finish. That is as quick as I get when it comes to cooking.

What is YOUR best money saving trick that the rest of us don’t know about?

Time is money. Every day I grow older I know that. With that being said, things like changing my oil or getting my dress shirts dry cleaned. The first – I can change my oil. I have changed my oil. My truck has a big ass steel skid plate to protect the oil pan from idiots who drive like they own a pick up truck.

I can do all this. Get the truck up on blocks and jacks, take those bolts off one by one, drain oil… etc etc. It takes me a couple hours. OR… I take it to Nick on my way to work. $50 and 15 minutes later and I am on my way. Note, I do not, and will not, take it to those quickie lube places. For the love of god, don’t EVER do that.

Dress shirts – I wear a button up dress shirt every day. I am great with laundry, but terrible with ironing. I just can’t do it. When I try, here is what happens… for each crease and wrinkle I iron over, I have created a new one on the back. So, I could spend an hour a night fighting an iron… or drop off ten at a time on my way to work. $1.50 a shirt, and the shop is completely on my way to work.

In closing, I am not dodging the question. I am telling you that right now, time is more important that money. Money can be reclaimed, earned, or even stolen. Time, though.. it’s gone, baby. It’s dead like Zed.

What inanimate object have you given a name to?

Our tractor is named Stomin’ Norma, and our barn wagon cart thing is called ‘Little Suzi’.

What is something that’s nearly impossible to fuck up, yet the large majority of people still fuck it up?

Apologizing. You don’t have to be good at it at all. Just try, and mean it.


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