What is a job/profession you’ve seen on TV or the movies that inspires you to try?
Never mind that, I just thought of a funny story I should share. It just randomly popped into my head this week. I guess it is my first flash of me fully being… me. Back in high school, I had a super awesome psychology teacher. In fact, my school was pretty cool for even having a psychology teacher. Once a year, these district suits would come and evaluate the teachers by sitting in class for a day or two. The teachers name was Mr Camwell. God Bless Bill Camwell of Arcadia High School. He was a great guy and a still engaged teacher (which was rare… but who the hell wants to teach 17 year olds) and he set me on a path of wanting to learn and knowing that was ok, even if it was learning the stuff not in the textbooks.
Anyhow, let’s say the evaluator’s name was Mr Dali. Mr Dali sat in the far back, and never interfered. He didn’t want to impose, and probably didn’t want us to know he was there. As we were just about to dismiss class for the day, I raised my hand and said “Mr Dali, I just wanted to say how much we appreciate you being here. See, when you are here, Mr Camwell doesn’t hit us.” In retrospect, this was a terrible, terrible prank. Luckily, everyone recognized it as such and we had a great laugh. Plus, I had long hair, so no one took me too seriously, anyway.
What is a skill that you would love to learn, but don’t have the time or money to start?
Locksmithing. Is that a word? Judging by the red squiggly judgy line to the left… it is not a work. I don’t want to be a working locksmith, and I don’t want to steal your shit. I just think that skillset is fascinating. When us mortals encounter a locked door, the message is simple. Either this placed is closed, or we are at the wrong door. Doors don’t lock accidentally. They don’t want us here. A locksmith encounters this and thinks… “5 minutes, TOPS! Looks like a standard tumble disreali set up, with a double blind pin drop.” I just made up those words… but don’t they kinda sound locksmithy?
this isn’t just lip service, either. I seriously looked into if there were any weekend, or night and weekend type classes. There ain’t. In restropect, it makes sense. Finding easy and affordable and flexible ways to teach people how to break into anything may not be in society’s best interest. Sure, I mean… I can be trusted. But think of what your mouth breathing half wit brother in law would do with this kind of ability!
When did you realize you were getting old?
We were en route from Denver to Phx, a drive we do pretty often. See, when you curate cat sweater figurines like the wife and I do… at the high level we do… you spend a LOT of time in communities where old people thrive. Anyhow, we were in Northern AZ somewhere… total BFE. We were looking for anything on the radio, this was LONG before ipods and satellite radio and internal combustion engines. We finally found something that wasn’t country, or Christian radio. First song we stumbled on was Prince, I remember that. Next one was some Chili Peppers, I think. We were stoked. It wasn’t necessarily what we would have chosen… but it was certainly good enough when you are 134 miles from the nearest anything.
As you know, I very seriously regard myself as an absolute scholar of rock music and rock history.
I want to note, this was at LEAST ten years ago. I was in my lower 30s, maybe even high 20s. Man comes on the radio and says “alright. You got Northern Arizona’s only golden oldies jam”.
What is the exact moment you stopped enjoying something?
can’t think of an answer. Too depressing. Life is filled with too many of the moments that Dan Rather once described SO eloquently: A tough lesson in life that one has to learn is that not everybody wishes you well
What soul-crushing insult do you have stored for a particular person in the event that things get nasty?
I don’t want to tip my hat, but it stars kinda like this “You call that an 18th century adult male tabby mole-hair sweater, man? Jesus, have you ever even seen a cat? My retarded dog, who hates cats by the way, could out knit that in the middle of another ketamine binge black out!”
Sorry you had to see me like that. You prolly know by now I am kinda the Gordon Ramsey of cat sweater knitting competitions, but I try not to get blue like that on this website.