Friday Fives – the Future of Mexico

einsteintongue

What hobby attracts the most assholes?

Wow.  That is a thoughtful and odd  question.  Needless to say, it would be something involving men.  Weightlifting.

 What’s a weird hobby you have?  

Not arson, I can tell you that much.  Not even sure why you just brought that up.  Let’s look.  What are my hobbies?  Guitar and bass playing.  Traveling.  Writing to you aholes.  Probably that one.  I have been doing this, on this very web address, since 2003.  Snark BEFORE TMZ, Salon.com, Buzzfeed, Cracked, the Daily Show.  Did I invent it?   No.  we would go back to the Harvard Lampoon.  Sure, there was snark and thoughtful social commentary as long as language goes back.  However, the Lampoon organized it.  They published.  They wrote original material.  They made movies.  They win.  Plus, Simpson’s was entirely run by Harvard nerds for the first few generations.

If you could shoot anything out of your index finger, what would you choose?

Clean tap water.  I would go back to Mexico (note, I literally woke up in Mexico today.  We are there a lot) and help them with their water problems.  They have tap water, but you can’t drink it…. Still.   I have been traveling to Mexico for almost 30 years.  It hasn’t changed.  It is still all charm, and a total fucking mess.  That is why we visit.  People think of Cuba as being this magical place stuck in 1959, and it is.

Anyhow,  getting a cup of water out of your tap is an incredible advancement, and one we obviously take for granted.  In Mexico (again, this is on my mind because I was just back from a week there.  We go a lot, annually.  Both wife and i speak Spanish, and we have been all over the country) you can’t drink the water.  It also means you can’t get a mixed drink.  Why not?  Because your mixed drink has ice in it, made from the (bad) tap water.  So, you keep a nalgene*** bottle of purified water with you everywhere… even to a restaurant.  Other than that, drink beer!  BUT WAIT… was that beer kept in a cooler?  Maybe with water and ice?  Maybe there is some of that water on the bottle or bottlecap.  You have to consider that, too.  We take lime and rub it around the top before we drink,

Mexico kinda feels the same.  At least the places we go, outside of some random wifi in a restaurant, I could drop you where we were this week and defy you to even give me a decade we were in.  LOVE it.

How about some pics from our vacation?  Scroll down.  Hold on, they are still on my phone.  Through the magic of time edit, it is done now and they are down there.

What’s something you will never do again?

That I am willing to share, in writing?  Ok, that scratches out most humiliating stupid ideas that have made great stories.  It’s safe to say skiing.  I never liked skiing, and never got in to it.  Grew up in Phx, you remember.  The skiing there, frankly, is sub par.  Since then, I have had a few knee surgeries.  Plus, the idea of paying… a LOT… to be stuck on a mountain outside in a snowstorm… with no way to safety but sticks lashed to my feet… well that doesn’t seem like fun.  That seems like a big problem.

How do you think the world will end?

I don’t think it will be war, I think it will be disease.  However, let me end with this AMAZING quote by Einstein – I do not know how WW3 will be fought, but WW4 will be fought with sticks and stones.

mexico vacation photos below

*** nalgene – I am guessing everyone from Colorado reading this knows that this is, and others may not.  It’s just a water bottle, but its the greatest water bottle ever.  unbreakable, strong, light, big, dishwasher friendly.  If you don’t have several get some now.  You will thank me.  REI has the best, and I think kind of pioneered the design and popularized the brand.

slate20blue2032oz20nalgene

pictures from Mexico.  Why?  Why not?

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