Friday Fives – It’s Electric!


What isn’t nearly as dangerous as people think?

Electricity.  Working on electrical in your place is EASY.  Just turn off the main breaker.  Electrical is super simple, you have 3 wires at most.  When you do turn the breaker back on, nothing will explode.  If you did it wrong, it will quickly and safely short out on the breaker panel.  Rinse and repeat.  It is plumbing that scares the hell out of me.  Not because of poo, either… but plumbing done wrong can cause thousands of dollars of damage quickly.  And there are no safeties built in with water like there is for electrical.

btw, this isn’t a brag.  I often do really really dumb things around electricity.  We have a horse fence that is very strong.  You know, enough to freak out a 1200 pound animal.  If you touch that, it isn’t bad.  It’s just a light shock… like a 9 volt battery on your tongue.  Unless… that is… you accidentally grounded yourself.  How do you do that?  Well, you are grabbing the fence handle that hooks around the gate.  Hooking it on the gate like that completes the circuit and makes the whole thing live.

Turns out, there are other ways to ‘complete the circuit’.  I know it sounds like some kind of porn expression also involving tequila.  I wish it were! On more than one occasion, I have found myself against the gate with my torso.  This part of the fence is metal, and dazzlingly conductive.  If your arm brushes up against that little metal string filament… it’s showtime.  Wifey said she heard me scream from inside the house… a football field away with all the windows and doors closed.

Point being, I am more Doc Brown than Nicola Tesla.  BUT… doing electrical in the home is no big deal.  Get out there and start sticking forks into sockets… it’s pretty great.

What flaws do people often brag about?

Not following the basics of politics.  “oh, I don’t pay attention to all that noise.”  Well, you MUST.  It’s how we fix things and hold these bastards accountable.  They count on the electorate not caring.

What is the loudest thing you’ve managed to sleep through?

An earthquake.  Well, mostly slept through.  I woke up one night hearing the drunken idiot roommates bashing around upstairs.  This was college, and an old house… so this wasn’t news.  Turns out it was an earthquake.  Didn’t know until the next day.  Being from AZ, and this was in AZ (Flagstaff)…. We don’t get earthquakes.  It wasn’t until I was vacationing outside of LA that I finally got to be in a proper one.  It was rad.

What’s the cringiest thing you’ve ever seen a person do in public?

Breast feed!  Just kidding.  Who could be offended by feeding a baby?  Or anything that involves naked boobs?

I can’t think of anything offhand.  I saw a dead guy in college.   Does that count?  Admittedly, and thankfully, I’ve had a pretty great and sheltered life.

What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child?

That water was free.  Like, that the water that came out of your tap at home was a magical and god given right as a taxpayer.  Thought the same about garbage collection.  Man was I disappointed when I finally became a homeowner!

and that adults had their shit together.  You assumed everyone’s parents were regular functioning working people.  Not like me and my dipshit friends.  Then, you realize there is no normal, and all your dipshit buddies are now adults and raising kids.



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