Friday Fives – Breakfast club edition

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What was your favorite breakfast during childhood?

 Cereal.  You know, the sugary junk.  Man, that was great!  Remember Cookie Crisp?  It wasn’t a cereal that was like cookies. It wasn’t even cereal.  It was just a bag of small chocolate chip cookies.  God Bless America!

Am sure you know by now, but grocers famously kept kids food very low.  They still do this.  It serves two purposes, really.  The first, of course, is so this food is right at the eye level of kids.  Bonus secondary purposes… it is out of the site view of adults.  The idea being, you (as a parent shopper) don’t even notice that garbage.  You don’t have your defenses loaded when that little snotrocket reptository runs up and throws it in your cart.  If you are an asshole, like I was… you might sneak it in the cart and bury it a bit.

That way, it doesn’t turn up until the register… where the parent is likely so eager to get out of the store they put up little fight.

 2  .Why is a muffin considered a legitimate breakfast option but cake isn’t? 

 You are overthinking this.  If I had to hazard a guess, I would say sugar content.  Of course, I can’t help but think of the brilliant Cosby bit where he had to watch the kids.  They needed breakfast, so he fed them chocolate cake.  He reasoned it had Eggs and wheat and milk and butter… like any breakfast.  And we got this little melody out of it – “Dad is great!  Gave us the chocolate cake!”  If I am speaking gibberish, Youtube it.  When I was way young (single digits) my brothers and I would listen to Cosby tapes when we went to bed.  His old old bits about he and his brother Russell sharing a room together (as my brothers and I did) was just the best!

What beverage do you typically drink with each of the 3 meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner)?

Water.  Don’t drink milk anymore, and I have never like soda.  Still don’t.  You wouldn’t see a Coke in my hand unless it was mixed with bourbon.  I don’t even do that much, anymore.  Trying to be mindful of my weight… and look like a grownup.. . I just drink a decent whiskey over ice

What is your favorite grownup breakfast cereal?  And as a child?

Frosted Flakes.  Speaking of that, we are apparently talking about breakfast food and cereal.  I was just reminded of a funny and great compromise I made with my dad.  He was a marathon runner, and so ate very well.  He hated that I was eating all that sugary garbage, and wouldn’t let me have any.  Me being me… I took the business approach and negotiated.  He liked shredded wheat, and thought I should eat that.  No thanks, not even a tiny bit appealing.  BUT… I reasoned… how about if we split the difference?  Frosted Shredded Wheat.  He agreed that was a fair compromise.  What a little shit I was!

What’s the greatest breakfast food invention of all time?

Bacon!  Easy to cook.  Super tasty.  Travels well.  Needs no utensils to manage, Easy to acquire.  Can be found in any restaurant menu in America.

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